


Counting Stars

by Dessert_Maniac



Series: Counting Stars [1]
Category: Senki Zesshou Symphogear
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, F/F, Gen, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-04-25 19:56:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 61
Words: 28,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4974016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dessert_Maniac/pseuds/Dessert_Maniac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes she sneaks out after everyone's asleep. She finds her way to her favorite tree easily enough, and from there it's just a matter of counting.</p><p>Sometimes she keeps counting 'til she goes so high she loses track of her place. Maybe it'd be better to make a thousand cranes so she wouldn't have to start all over. Or, if she lived on asteroid B-612, she could watch sunsets 'til she went blind before she ran out of numbers. Really, there's no end to the things she can count.</p><p>Sometimes she thinks numbers are the best thing ever invented (and sometimes they're not).</p><p>[How Elfnein got adopted; a story told in bits and pieces and from three points of view.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1.00 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elfnein lives in an orphanage.

### ZERO

“Did’ya hear? Ken’s gonna get adopted!”

“Really? Who? When? When’s he leaving? Is it with someone nice?”

“I dunno, the matron—”

She sighs. Not even the leaves rustling above her head can drown them out.

She wishes the boys would go away. She wishes they would take their conversation somewhere else, because she doesn’t want to hear who’s getting adopted this time. She wishes that time would go faster.

Her head droops, her forehead resting on her drawn-up knees.

Zero families had looked at her. The office will close soon… and it’ll be another tally of nothing.

They’re going to have a going-away party for Ken. Everyone will hug him and say goodbye and when they go to their rooms, Ken will go with his new parents to his new home.

It’s not that she minds.

Not really.

It’s just… she wishes—

“Hey, hey, ya know what that means?”

“What?”

“His room’ll be free!”

“Hey, that’s right!”

It’s just that she wishes she didn’t get so disappointed every time someone got adopted.

And maybe she wishes she had a family to take her, too, but that’s kind of a pointless dream, isn’t it?

Besides… it’s not like anyone can replace Papa or Carol.

Her breath hitches and she has to blink away tears because no, she does _not_ cry. She’s older now, and she’s by herself and she doesn’t really mind. The playground’s abuzz with the other kids talking about Ken leaving and there aren’t any adults interested in her—but that’s okay.

It’s okay.

“It’s okay,” she mumbles to herself as she leaves her tree.

She figures she can spend the rest of recess at the library—her system consists of the grounds of the orphanage now, and if she can’t change the other variables, she can at least change her own position.

Though Ken’s going to leave, someone else will come, and the system will go back to equilibrium.

Her thoughts, too, will return to equilibrium.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an experiment in 1. short-length drabbles, 2. close third person points of view, 3. present tense, and 4. unfamiliar subjects.
> 
> Find me at teddy-tries-writing.tumblr.com if you want to send me prompts, ask questions about my writing, etc.


	2. 1.01 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsubasa at work, ft. Hibiki and Maria.

### ONE

“Tsubasa! Guess what time it is!”

Tsubasa looks up, blinking to refocus on the woman grinning at her. “Hm? Tachibana?”

Glancing at her watch, she realizes it is already lunch break just as Hibiki says, “Geez, if it weren’t for me I think you’d work straight through lunch every day and forget to eat!”

“You say that every time. These reports need to be catalogued properly, and goodness knows no one on this ship has the patience for archiving,” Tsubasa grumbles, but she sets aside her work when Hibiki cocks an eyebrow and lifts her left hand to draw attention to the boxed lunch she holds with her own.

She laughs, waggling a finger at Tsubasa, gloating, “And _you_ give the same token protest and give in the moment you see the lunch Maria’s made for you! Stuffy librarian work is _totally_ secondary to eating.”

Only moments later, Hibiki is left with her mouth gaping open and hands devoid of lunch. Tsubasa pats her on the shoulder as she walks out of the office.

“Hey, no fair!” Hibiki shouts after her, jogging to catch up. “You can’t go around abusing your cool ninja skills like that,” she pouts.

Tsubasa shakes her head. “All’s fair in war, so,” she smirks, “your lunch is mine.”

Continuing to pout, Hibiki reaches ahead to open the door to the staff room as she grumbles, “Just because I ate your lunch that _one_ time….”

“I’m glad you understand,” Tsubasa smirks.

“Oh no, Tsubasa’s smirking! Hibiki, what did you do?”

Glaring, Tsubasa retorts, “Well, good afternoon to you as well, my dear wife.”

Maria tilts her head and grins winsomely up at Tsubasa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions, questions, etc. are welcome.


	3. 1.02 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I am not doing this without you, missy."

### TWO

Pecking Maria’s cheek in farewell, Tsubasa moves to return to her office. Maria snags her chin and brings Tsubasa in for a proper kiss.

“Maria,” Tsubasa murmurs, a blush darkening her cheeks and ears. She glances meaningfully at Hibiki, who is still in the room, though she is preoccupied with her cellphone. Nonetheless, Tsubasa fiddles with Maria’s tie, saying fondly, “Your tie is crooked again.”

With that triumphant half-smirk she so likes to wield as a weapon, Maria teases, “Now who’s the lovey-dovey one?”

Tsubasa’s blush deepens.

Fortunately, Hibiki chooses that moment to put away her phone and notice them; she takes one look at Tsubasa’s red face with her hands frozen on Maria’s tie and startles giggling. “You guys are almost as bad as Miku and me,” she says, grinning widely.

“Oh! I almost forgot,” Hibiki slaps her forehead before the couple can reply, “Speaking of Miku, she wishes you good luck from the both of us—you know, for your interview today.”

Maria stiffens at the reminder.

“Don’t worry, Maria. It takes two to tango, and it will definitely take the two of us to raise a child,” Tsubasa teases.

“Tsubasa!” It is not Maria, however, who yelps in embarrassment. Hibiki has her hands slapped over her ears as she scolds, “I don’t need to know what you do in your alone time! See, Maria?! This is _exactly_ why you’re a bad influence!”

Maria laughs, hugging her wife. “Thank you,” she whispers, and Tsubasa tightens her arms around Maria.

“I’ll meet you at our car in a couple of hours, yes?”

“Yes.” Maria gives a wave to Hibiki and leaves.

Gathering the rest of her things, Tsubasa says, “Let us go, Hibiki. Genjuurou will make you run laps again if you’re late.”

Hibiki groans. “I wish I had Miku’s affinity with running,” she laments, dragging herself to the door. Before leaving, she turns to Tsubasa. “You’ll do well,” Hibiki reassures her, brimming with her typical confidence.

“Thank you,” Tsubasa nods her head, smiling faintly.


	4. 1.03 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waiting is the hardest part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reiterate: this is an experiment in **brevity** , thus entries are typically less than 500 words.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please comment!

### THREE

_‘…sent out the scout group that morning at dawn to investigate the second sector. They reported no disturbances—Master Sergeant Nase sent out the scout group that morning at dawn to investigate the second sector. They reported no disturbances the first day (see p. 15B), but that evening at—Master Sergeant Nase sent out the scout group that morning—’_

Traitorously, her gaze drifts to the clock.

Only three minutes left.

She forces her eyes back down to the report, but she has read the same sentence countless times already. Nevertheless, she has to set an example, even if no one is around to learn from it.

After all, it has taken them a year to reach this point—many, many minutes that crawled along at the pace of a snail. She is sure she can survive a few more.

Mere minutes can convey the greatest changes.

This she knows.

She also knows the virtue of patience and endurance; her thawing at Maria’s hands has not diminished her mastery.

Her fate is in the hands of another. This fact she cannot change, just as she cannot force time to go faster.

And so she returns her attention to the report in front of her. On a post-it note, she marks where she left off and jots down key points to review tomorrow. Tomorrow, when the lake of her mind is not buffeted by life-altering facts.

Time, she muses, is an odd thing: it is time to pack up. Time to leave. Time to rendezvous with Maria.

It is time to face the future.


	5. 1.04 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " _Eins, zwei, drei, vier_..."

### FOUR

Four books are the grand total of the German-language books in the institution’s small library.

She is almost completely sure that no one’s touched them in a long, long time. She feels a twinge of guilt in her chest—her sweaty palms had warped some of the pages in the biology textbook.

A lot of the words don’t make sense but she wishes she could have kept the textbook, with its hard cover and shiny pages, as perfect as she had found it.

But stuff changes. It’s just her luck that the stuff she _wants_ to change doesn’t, and the stuff she _doesn’t_ want to change does.

“Here again, Elfnein?”

It’s the librarian. She wonders how he can sneak up on her even though he has a cane that thumps against the carpet every other step.

“…Yes, Mr. Ren.”

He nods.

She watches the lonely pink strand in his white hair flop in front of his left eye. She tries not to giggle when he flicks it back, but he laughs, too.

“Tell me, Elfnein. How has your day been?” He tugs on a chair, and of course she hurries to help him.

None of the books in the library can hold a conversation, and she’s read the ones in German countless times, so she doesn’t mind talking to Mr. Ren instead of reading.

But… she doesn’t really want to tell him about Ken getting adopted… so she just shrugs.

“Is that so?” He pats her head and says, “Rarely do the children visit the library. Please, indulge this old man with some youthful conversation.”

Other than the news, there’s nothing else that makes today different from yesterday.

She doesn’t want to leave Mr. Ren waiting, though, so she sighs and mumbles, “Ken’s getting adopted.”

He nods. He’s waiting for her to continue. He’s one of those slow processes, very patient.

Conversation is really hard when you never have anything to talk about. It’s also hard when you don’t know how to say what you want to say.

“Fret not, Elfnein,” he smiles at her, that funny small smile that isn’t anything like the teeth-showing smiles of other adults. It’s a characteristic particular to Mr. Ren. “There’s still a half hour left of recess. Go out play.”

Now, if only she could escape her other problems so easily.

“Can I come back after dinner, Mr. Ren?” She wants to talk, but sometimes it takes a long time, because it feels like her brain is a slow process, too.

Mr. Ren understands, because he smiles again, and he says, “I’ll ask the matron for someone to help me dust the shelves.”


	6. 1.05 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A summary of what's been going on in Maria's head since they started the adoption process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment!

### FIVE

As they wait, she peruses the magazines left on the low table in front of them. Tsubasa may be content to meditate, but Maria simply doesn’t have it in her to relax.

So she picks up a random magazine, glancing at the headlines on the cover.

_‘The Pull Between Who You Love, What You Love Doing, and Sleep—p. 5.’_

Well, that sounds interesting.

She glances at Tsubasa; she must sense it, because she opens her eyes and smiles. Their hands come together, resting on Tsubasa’s thigh.

“Maria,” Tsubasa murmurs.

Maria leans her head on Tsubasa’s shoulder.

On average, her wife isn’t exactly someone of few words, but she’s not all that talkative, either. That Tsubasa trusts her with all her moods, that Tsubasa feels safe to talk as much or as little as she wants to, that Tsubasa is _here_ , a partner in every sense of the word—it centers Maria more than anything else in the world.

“Read this with me?”

Tsubasa squints down at the article.

“Don’t strain your eyes,” Maria chides, and she giggles at Tsubasa’s disgruntled look.

When she finally has her glasses on, Tsubasa brings her arm around Maria’s shoulder to bring her closer.

And so they read together.

Maria feels Tsubasa’s serene calm ensconcing her, distracting her from the words on the page.

There are a lot of thoughts in her head—this article caught her eye because it addresses her worry about being able to be a good parent and a good wife and good employee _and_ still have time for her hobbies—but there is the more immediate worry that makes her seek comfort.

Because her life is about to change.

Tsubasa’s life is about to change.

_A child’s_ life is about to change.

Despite her worries, though… she’s pretty darn excited.


	7. 1.06 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A slight change of plans.

### SIX

It takes six deep breaths for her to realize that they made it.

Matron Yang shakes Maria’s hand; she can tell her wife is startled by the older woman’s strength.

“Tomorrow’s pretty soon,” the matron is telling them, “but you’ll visit the kids. Look over the visitor guidelines, get a good night’s sleep, eat well, and don’t be nervous! If you’re nervous then the kiddies get nervous, y’know?”

Maria nods far too much, but she looks eager. Excited. Elated.

She thinks: I would do anything for her.

And she is.

This trial has passed, and they are much, much closer to their wish. Background checks, home inspections, references, paperwork—all the _waiting_ is over.

They are _here_.

Here, and just this morning it still seemed… distant, somewhat incomprehensible.

Matron Yang waves at them one last time from the institution’s gate.

Tsubasa waves back. She blinks when she realizes her lips have pulled into a soft smile. She has not let herself think of possible futures—it would be unfair to set expectations, however unwittingly.

But land is in sight.

“Maria?” Maria tugs them closer to the gate, craning her head.

She looks, as well, but none of the children are in the front yard; she assumes it is their dinnertime.

Maria shakes her head. “I thought I saw….” She bites her lip.

“Maria?” she prompts, pulling her closer by the hand. Warmth seeps into her.

Nuzzling against the side of her face, Maria murmurs, “I know we said we wanted toddlers or infants… but… would you be willing, Tsubasa? To have an older child?”

An older child?

“I cannot say,” she has to answer. “The situation, the outcome, is entirely dependent on what we will experience tomorrow.

“But… I trust your judgement, Maria.”

It bubbles up from within and without.

“We’ve made it here. We’ll make it further.”

She can feel Maria’s smile against her cheek.


	8. 1.07 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm basically an awkward, lonely nerd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Elfnein chapters are my favorite. Also, I do take suggestions/prompts!

### SEVEN

So far, she’s found seven different types of bugs in the community garden.

Now she has something to talk about when she goes to Mr. Ren after dinner. Hopefully he’ll take out the big insect encyclopedia and let her distract him with information he’s already heard a bunch of times.

Okay. That sounded more plausible in her head.

But, it’s—well—it’s not like she’s the only kid who has some problems with living in an orphanage. From what she understands, it’s a very common thing. The library has a lot of books that have main characters with tragic backstories, and a lot of them are orphans.

So, yeah. It’s old news. It’s boring—overdone.

“Dinner, kiddies!”

Anyway, the scope of her world is pretty small, so she has to work with what she has.

“What’ve you got there, Elfnein?”

“Just some bugs to show Mr. Ren,” she replies, holding up the jar.

The matron chuckles, ushering her in. See? Old news.

But from the corner of her eye, she sees a flash of pink that’s really out of place in the system. Even though lots of kids here have crazy hair colors, none of them dawdle at all when it comes to food.

She turns her head, and, as the doors close behind her, she catches a glimpse of a woman with funny pink hair turning away.

Maybe she’s Ken’s new mom. She’s going to take him away and show him the wonderful outside world. He’s going to leave this system, he’s going to explore, he’s going to discover all sorts of stuff—and she’ll be stuck counting the same things all over again.

…That really, really hurts.


	9. 1.08 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't count your eggs before they're hatched!

### EIGHT

“Oh my god, what are we going to do with eight boxes of diapers!” They are stacked by the closet, all of varying size.

She wants to tear out her hair, because now she can see why Tsubasa had wanted to wait to shop. “And don’t say ‘I told you so’!”

Tsubasa, to her credit, looks incredibly unfazed as she, too, surveys the partially-set up nursery.

It’s a _nursery_. “The toys can stay—well, the stuffed animals, and even the blocks, right? Rattles, those have _got_ to go, and also the crib and bassinet and _the onesies!_ ”

She takes comfort in the fact that she and Tsubasa are particularly in sync at least: as she drops to her knees, Tsubasa slips a cushion beneath her.

Best wife ever.

“Would you like to join me in an impromptu session of mediation, Maria?”

Or not, but she’s pretty sure her wife is only joking.

Tsubasa pats her shoulder, continuing, “Meditation is an excellent way to return to a serene, rational state so as to approach obstacles with—”

“ _Tsubasa_ ,” she whines, getting to her feet and smacking Tsubasa’s smugness off her face with the pillow.

When Tsubasa dodges with her endless ease, however, she can’t help but cross her arms—grave, in her opinion, though she knows Tsubasa will only see it as petulant. Geez, it’s not her fault she turns into mush whenever she see stuff like booties and onesies and bibs and _wow_ she is not prepared at all, there’s all this—

“It’s fine,” Tsubasa cuts in. Her hand sweeps across the room as she says, “Most of this we can donate. The crib converts to a child-sized bed, so we might still be able to use it, and….”

Picking up on her wife’s train of thought, Maria perks up.

Her approval has Tsubasa smiling, softly instead of slyly this time.

“Let’s get to it, then,” she claps her hands, “we’ll have a pile for stuff to donate, stuff to keep, and then stuff to put in storage—just in case.”

“Just in case?” Tsubasa echoes as she moves to gather the boxes of diapers.

She gives her a bright smile, “More like, we’ll put it in storage to use _later_. You know, for the next one.”

“Maria!” Tsubasa calls out to her, but she’s already nabbed a stack of baby clothes and is on her way to the attic.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves again.


	10. 1.09 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hello, stars. It's me again."

### NINE

It’s nine o’clock at night and still the other two girls in the bedroom are chattering excitedly about Ken leaving.

Gosh, doesn’t it get boring?

There’s only so much to be said, isn’t there?

And then it gets worse.

“Shuiichi said he saw the couple who’s adopting him!”

“Really?!”

“Yeah! A French-speaking man and a scary-looking woman, he said.”

“Scary? Why’s she scary?”

“I dunno, Shuiichi just got that impression, I guess.”

“I wouldn’t want to go with someone scary….”

“Me neither. I’d want my new parents to be cool, but nice and friendly, too! Like, I want a mom who—”

She tries to muffle their conversations by shoving her head deeper under her pillow and blankets, but it doesn’t really work out.

“…doesn’t mind teaching me how to cook, can give me advice about boys and stuff, and…”

It’s getting kind of hot and uncomfortable.

But maybe that’s just her…?

If she fell asleep then she wouldn’t have to think about anything, but she just can’t. She’s already tried counting sheep, but that didn’t really work out because she keeps thinking of the sheep on Papa’s farm, which does the opposite of making her fall asleep.

Then again, it’s not like she _has_ to count sheep in particular, right?

There’s something else she can count—except the other two girls have to fall asleep first, or else she won’t be able to sneak out.

Unless she just says she’s going to the bathroom. If she doesn’t come back they probably won’t notice.

“Yeah! And dads should be strong, but without all the stern stuff—like, he’ll let me—”

That’s definitely her cue to leave.

She emerges from her nest warily, but since she’s on the bottom bunk the girls don’t notice her.

It sounds like she won’t even have to give an excuse at all.

She’s made it to the door and not once have they paused.

But it’s still a little nerve-wracking, standing in front of the door and hoping it doesn’t make too much noise.

And she’s out in the hallway, no lights shining under the doors of the other rooms, and then she’s outside in the backyard, and from here it’s only a matter of counting.

Sometimes numbers are the worst invention ever, but other times it’s not so bad.


	11. 1.10 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria looks towards an experienced parent for advice, ft. Hibiki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my favorite chapter to date, mostly because it marks the start of the convergence of three separate plot lines (the first two have been seen, plot #3 won't really appear until way down the line).

### TEN

“How do you do it?” She’s been wanting to ask for a while, and right now, while they’re just on standby, is the perfect opportunity.

“Do what?” Unfortunately, it appears Hibiki is kind of grumbly today, since she’s slouched in her seat and staring blankly at the ceiling, not bothering to face Maria. From the moment she clocked in this morning to now, Hibiki has been morose and pensive.

So, it’s with caution that she ventures further, “Raise an older child. One that’s already a person, unlike babies and toddlers, who are the quickest to adapt and don’t have clear expectations beyond instincts.”

Hibiki only runs her hand through her bangs in response, sighing.

Maybe that hit a little too close to home.

Maria wonders what Carol did this time—the girl is pretty much the only person able to upset Hibiki so much.

But this question itches at her nonetheless.

“All kids are different,” Hibiki replies at last.

That doesn’t tell her much, though. After all, she took care of Kirika and Shirabe pretty much their entire childhoods, and they were as different as night and day. So, she knows she’s not completely in the dark, but whoever she will adopt will have a history entirely unknown to her and Tsubasa, and she doesn’t have the constant safety-net of her mom any more.

Scattered throughout the house are ten different parenting guides, but those are for _infants_. Of course, as soon as they know who they’ll be bringing home, she’s certain Tsubasa will go out and buy a lot more than that.

For the bathroom, several in the bedroom, the kitchen, even the backyard—“helpful advice” within arm’s reach at any given time… that may or may not actually be helpful.

Honestly? She really, really doesn’t want to mess up her child. That’s all it comes down to—all her worries boil down to this.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Turning back to Hibiki, Maria wonders at the much more cheerful demeanor, but she says, “How can I not? There are so many things that could go wrong.”

“It’s hard,” Hibiki tells her, waving a hand carelessly, “just look at us and Carol!

“But we want the best for her, and we talk with her. We communicate, and a lot of times we either push too much or we push too little, even with our best intentions. And that’s why it’s frustrating, because it’s not easy to fit together even a year later.”

Even a year later? Oh god, she hopes she is up to the task.

“Still, we don’t give up. Not on us, and definitely not on Carol,” Hibiki explains. Leaning forward, she gazes at her with uncommon sternness. “Maria. You’re going to mess up, you’re going to have bad days, but don’t forget how much you love them.”

“Oh.” She blinks.

That’s—it’s not really a solution.

“You’re right. I love them already.”


	12. 1.11 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's in a name?

### ELEVEN

As far as she can tell—which isn’t really far, to be honest—her name is basically just a merging of “elf” and “nein.”

So… her name is “Eleven-no.”

She kind of hopes that’s not true, that her fading knowledge and limited resources of German are responsible for this mix-up, but when yet another recess finds her huddled at the base of her favorite tree without anybody paying any mind, she’s kind of inclined to agree with her name.

Well, the “no” part—the rejection part.

If only she had thought of asking Papa what her name means.

Maybe Carol knows? Wherever she is….

Seriously, though. If Papa named her “Eleven-no,” she’s going to have to invent a way to contact the afterlife and demand to know what he was thinking, because _why_ would he do that (also she doesn’t trust the supernatural methods floating around, which is why she’d have to invent something _reliable_ ).

Or, she supposes it could’ve been Mama who named her, but that was ages and ages ago.

Great. Way to make herself sad all over again.

Now what’s she supposed to do?

She can’t leave the yard for a while longer, so that leaves her with the book she brought, unless she wants to venture over to the monkey bars—where Ken is surrounded by a ton of kids wishing him goodbye.

 _The Ersatz Elevator_ it is, then.

A few more chapters and she’ll be finished.

Violet, Klaus, Sunny—now _those_ are good names. Like Carol.

Except, she could do without all the miserableness that follows the Baudelaires around like a bloodhound on a scent trail.

But she’s not sure why she keeps reading such a sad series. It constantly reminds her of stuff she doesn’t want to think about, and then she can’t help but compare and contrast their situations, and then she’s left even more upset—case in point, the names thing.

Still, she promised herself that when she finished this book she’d try her hand, or her brain, really, at _His Dark Materials_. That one looks harder, so she’s really looking forward to it.

Looking forward to the little things....

Taking a deep breath, she finds her place in the book and starts reading.

The sooner she finishes the sooner she gets to tackle a new challenge.

And isn’t that the most exciting thing ever!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review!


	13. 1.12 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria's already such a mom; Tsubasa just needs a little more self-esteem.

### TWELVE

Shuffling around their bedroom in the dark so as to not wake her wife, she manages to dress herself without knocking herself out and without making a racket. Her shoulder clips the doorway on the way out, but all in all Maria counts this as a victory.

Unfortunately she can’t be as quiet in the kitchen, so she’s not that much surprised or disappointed when Tsubasa nuzzles her in a hug from behind just a few minutes later.

“Are we having a Western breakfast?” she asks, peering at the batter left aside while eggs cook.

“Mhm. Just a few minutes. Do you want blueberries or anything else in the pancakes?” Half her attention is on the omelet she’s making, but the other half is basking in Tsubasa’s embrace. Frankly, she can’t wait to share the overflowing love she and Tsubasa have.

Her other half seems to have the same idea, for she presses closer and murmurs, “I am glad we’re doing this. You will be a wonderful mother.” She gives her one last cuddle before moving; as she sets the table, she says, “Only blueberries. Thank you, dear.”

It suffuses Maria with joy, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, that Tsubasa has so much faith in her. That’s why it takes her a moment to answer, “ _We_ will be wonderful parents.”

Tsubasa hums, not outright denying it; her social anxiety must be weighing her down.

But she waits until she has a large stack of pancakes ready before pushing Tsubasa further.

“Twelve? I’m not going to be able to finish it all,” she tells her, frowning cutely.

“Nonsense! Today’s a big day—you need the carbohydrates to keep up your strength, dear.”

Of course Tsubasa only stares helplessly at the plate before her, and when she proposes, “How about we share?” Maria readily agrees.

Her wife works methodically through the stack, dipping only the corners of her bites into syrup, whereas Maria prefers to dunk the whole thing in syrup. Some of it even catches against her cheeks, making Tsubasa laugh softly.

“Let me clean that for you,” she says, taking a napkin in hand. A few drops of water from her glass, and then she dabs Maria’s cheeks free of the sticky syrup.

When it’s all cleared away, she springs the trap on Tsubasa: “See? You make a good parent, too.”

The startled blush on Tsubasa’s face makes the extra food worthwhile.

(Except she really should cut back on sweets now that she has to set an example. Oh gosh, _that_ will be a fun experience.)


	14. 1.13 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Oh my god, how do I even interact with such a tiny human being?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been looking forward to this chapter _all_ week.

### THIRTEEN

She is such a small child, and though her expression gives away a degree of gloominess, there is a bit of curiosity in her wide eyes nonetheless.

She murmurs a soft, “Hello. I’m Elfnein. Pleased to meet you,” even as her hands fidget behind her back.

Wishing she wasn’t so awkward herself, she replies, “I am Tsubasa Kazanari. The pleasure is mine.” It is _such_ a stiff greeting. Her own hands are shoved in her pockets.

The child droops minutely.

She kind of wants to pat her shoulder, explain that it is not her at all, it is truly Tsubasa’s fault for being such an inadequate adult, such an awkward and cowardly person when it matters most. She wants to reassure the child.

But she finds herself frightened of this small child; or, rather, she fears hurting this little girl named Elfnein with the dull edge of her sword—blunted from disuse, but not softened anywhere _near_ enough for gentleness.

“Elfnein. That’s a pretty name,” Maria says, forgoing the chairs provided and sitting on the carpet. “I’m Maria, and Tsubasa here is my wife. Please, will you join us?” She pats the floor.

It is a prompt not only for the child, but for Tsubasa, as well. She has never been gladder to have Maria, her partner for almost thirteen years, with her.

She sits down next to Maria and tries her best to smile invitingly at the child.

“We don’t bite! I’ll tell you a little secret,” Maria leans forward with a mischievous wink, “we’re just as nervous as you, honestly. But! We’re also really, _really_ excited to get to know you, Elfnein!”

Tsubasa nods in agreement, and her smile turns sheepish, but much more natural. “Please, Elfnein, sit with us,” she manages to say.

The child blinks at her, at both of them, and Tsubasa feels a kinship towards this quiet little person who hesitantly joins them on the floor.

She notices, however, that the girl’s gaze is focused up, presumably at Maria’s hair.

“Maria’s hairstyle is rather peculiar, is it not?” she confides to Elfnein, and Maria, understanding completely, laughs at her own expense.

Elfnein’s mouth twitches in a smile.

Inwardly, Tsubasa beams. Perhaps this will not be too difficult, after all; though, she should work on having conversations without sacrificing the dignity of her wife.


	15. 1.14 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's be awkward _together_.

### FOURTEEN

“How many pins does it take?”

Elfnein looks like she regrets the question, so Maria beams, “Guess how many!”

See? This is totally working out: Elfnein has forgone her wariness in favor of curiosity. She looks so gosh darn _adorable_ , frowning and squinting hard at her hair, taking the challenge quite seriously.

It’s something to keep in mind. As parents, they have to encourage her interests!

They’ll go to museums, science fairs, theaters, and maybe she’d even like to visit the S.O.N.G. research labs? And, of course, they’ll have to enroll—

“Fourteen, seven in each,” Elfnein states.

Tsubasa elbows her.

Whoops. Getting ahead of herself again.

“Very close!” she answers with a proud grin, “it’s twelve! Six needles in each cat ear, but different sizes.”

“With a lot of hair gel. It takes her forever to get ready in the mornings,” Tsubasa wryly interjects. “It is fortunate that she woke early today.”

Her face flushes, but Tsubasa is _trying_ and Elfnein is _giggling_ , so she doesn’t mind at all.

She can’t presume to know why Elfnein looks so _tired_ , but she _can_ do her very best to bring joy back into Elfnein’s childhood.

“What’ve you got there, Elfnein?” It caught her interest before, the paperback clutched tightly in such tiny hands, and so she decides it’s an appropriate conversation topic.

Elfnein looks down at her book; her expression is shadowed by her hair, so when she says, “ _The Ersatz Elevator_ ” in a monotone, there are no clues to whether Elfnein is reading it for pleasure or for a class.

She also suddenly realizes that she hasn’t read many children’s books. That’s something she’s going to have to _immediately_ rectify.

“I haven’t read that story,” she admits easily. “Will you tell me about it?”

Blue eyes squint slightly at her, and Elfnein looks… a little lost, so she smiles encouragingly, saying, “Pretty please?”

“…Okay.” Elfnein shows them the front cover, and Maria has no idea what to make of the girl in the illustration going down an elevator shaft with two other children looking on anxiously.

At least Tsubasa seems to recognize the book. “Oh! _A Series of Unfortunate Events_. I’m sorry I did not recognize the title—it’s been decades since I last read the books. I’m afraid most of the storyline has faded in my mind,” she muses, reaching out to trace over the illustration, “but this is Violet, isn’t she? The inventor. And her brother Klaus and her sister Sunny.”

Brightening, Elfnein finally says, “Y-yeah! I haven’t read the whole series yet, but I’ve found a lot of historical and cultural references in it, and Lemony Snicket is such a funny narrator, so it makes up for the sad parts.”

“Really now? I never realized!”

Elfnein nods, leafing through the book. She shows a particular page to Tsubasa, explaining, “See? It’s in reference to…”

Tsubasa falters, fumbling for her glasses again, but Elfnein takes it as a sign of genuine interest.

It’s amazing how much lighter Elfnein looks when she’s excited, and Tsubasa looks much more relaxed, too.

For now, she’s content watching them bond. It’s good for both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review!


	16. 1.15 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

### FIFTEEN

A quarter of an hour ago, she was thoroughly immersed in the story. She could just about imagine the dark shaft of the ersatz elevator—welding torches sounded so _cool_.

Then they—she heard her name?

No, that was her imagination going too far.

“Elfnein, yoo-hoo!”

And then the matron had dragged her to the office—the office?

And _then_ the matron introduced her to the couple waiting.

The same pink hair she had seen the day before. A stern face she had never seen before. The matron kept going on and on about visitor rules and how this was just a tentative meeting, a “‘get to know you’ type thing.”

Now she’s sitting on the floor—and she’s awkward, and _they_ are awkward, too.

She can’t help but stare.

Her brain kind of… short circuits. Giant question marks… and her confusion covers whatever other feelings she has. She has _no idea_ how to interact with elements foreign to her confined system.

Do they want her to talk about herself??

Should she ask them who they are?? Well, she already knows that, kind of.

Tsubasa Kazanari and Maria, presumably also Kazanari.

But that doesn’t explain at all why they are here… why _she_ is here.

They’re nervous.

That… doesn’t make sense….

Why are they nervous?

What’s going on?

She wants to ask them. But her brain is still scrambling around. Mrs. Kazanari—the one with funny pink hair—was supposed to be Ken’s new mother, right?

But she made that _assumption_.

“Maria’s hairstyle is rather peculiar, is it not?” Mrs. Kazanari—the stern one—tentatively says, breaking the silence.

She smiles a little bit, because that’s not what she’s thinking but Mrs. Kazanari is _trying_ and that makes her feel a little better.

And then she blurts out, “How many pins does it take?”

And she wants to slap her hands over her mouth but she’s holding her book really tightly already and _did she really say that_?

So she focuses all her brainpower on imagining the needle structure inside the “cat ears;” hopefully that will keep her from blanking out again because that was just _awful_.

They’re nice about it, there’s some humor—comic relief—and she actually manages to laugh. Mrs. Kazanari (okay, Mrs. Tsubasa and Mrs. Maria—just to keep them straight in her head!) really likes to tease her wife. They really love each other.

Then Mrs. Maria asks about her book. Does she really want to know? Do they really want to hear her talk about a kid’s book? Do they really care?

When they continue asking, so nicely, they _do_ look interested, so she gives in.

Mrs. Tsubasa _actually knows their names_ and that’s so cool, and then she pulls out her glasses, so she _must_ be interested and _finally_ she has someone to talk to about Café Salmonella and red herring and Armani and—

The Baudelaires end up at the burnt remains of their home.

Oh.

She hadn’t read that far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was hard to write. It's getting more and more challenging!
> 
> P.S. Did you see that foreshadowing there? Next chapter's going to be painful.


	17. 1.16 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I can't breathe._

### SIXTEEN

She can’t help it.

She wishes she could stop.

They’re asking if she’s okay. She wants to answer, she really does.

But there’s panic. A whole lot of it. It’s going to explode in her chest. It’s already taking her breath, and her vision—her vision’s blurry. What else has it taken? It’s going to take _them_ , too.

It’s going to take them.

She can’t breathe.

Them, with their nervous smiles and their really obvious belief that everything will work out in the end. How can they think that? Don’t they _know_ —can’t they see why this is a bad idea?

They’re such nice people. Nice people. Who only want to live happy ever after.

Like Papa.

Her lungs are going to collapse, her brain will shut down, her heart is bursting at the seams and Papa is so far, far away. Her small arms can’t possibly cross that distance. He’s getting fuzzy. Blurry. He’s fading out. She can’t see his smile, or even his face, anymore and it makes her want to scream—

Carol screams. She screams and fights and cries about unfair and _stupid_ it is and—

Papa is gone.

She’s breathless. She can’t get enough air into her lungs. But if she breathes, she’ll inhale smoke. That’s bad for your lungs, Papa said.

It is. But what’s worse is the crackling sound of fire and the angry faces—they are so **_angry_ ** and she doesn’t understand _why_.

Why did they have to be so—so _cruel_?

Sixteen people died. Papa didn’t save them. That’s not his fault.

It’s not his fault.

Charred wood at her feet. Smoke sears her lungs. They don’t believe her. She can’t breathe.

It’s overwhelming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the shorter side because I didn't want to prolong Elfnein's suffering.
> 
> Next chapter we'll have some Momria and Tsupapa, don't worry.


	18. 1.17 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shoe drops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not used to describing my own panic attacks, so I don't know if I conveyed it well enough in the previous chapter and this one? Hm, well, I tried.

### SEVENTEEN

She is seventeen again, clutching Kanade’s limp body in her arms.

Everything had been going so well. Her nerves had all but disappeared and they were having _fun_ and it was going so well—but then something had shifted and gone terribly, awfully, irredeemably wrong.

“Tsubasa, darling, please let go of Elfnein. The doctor needs to do his job. Tsubasa?”

Of course, this is an entirely distinct situation. The person in her arms is a slight child, who breathes evenly, despite having fainted—she is certainly not her best friend, whose life force trickles steadily down the corner of her mouth and wells up from the depths of her heart.

A warm touch runs against her cheek. She lifts her eyes to meet Maria’s mournful smile and sad gaze.

“She’ll be okay,” Maria says. “She just has flashbacks sometimes.”

Who?

Does she speak of the child or of Tsubasa?

“Well, please do not hesitate to ask one of the nurses should you want or require assistance. Elfnein will be out for a couple of hours, however, and I cannot say if she will or be in a state to receive visitors. It depends on the severity of her panic. I’m sure you understand.”

It filters through a remote lens to her mind.

Elfnein has flashbacks—panic attacks.

“Can we,” she begins to ask before she can stop herself, so she might as well continue, “ask questions? About her condition.”

“Please,” Maria begs.

It occurs to her that Maria must be feeling so helpless; that awful, vile emotion that seethes up from the most profound reaches of the heart.

The doctor, an elderly man she only now notices, regards them cautiously. Nonetheless, it is with sympathy that he informs them, “You are not listed as her family. Only Elfnein herself may disclose details, if she so chooses.”

Perhaps it is her imagination that makes her hear a note of warning in the doctor’s words.

It is true. They are not her family. They are utter strangers to Elfnein.

She wants to be much more than a stranger. She wants to take this fragile little person in her arms and chase away the demons and never, ever let go. She wants to—

Maria is leading her away.

Are they not—? “We aren’t going to wait?” she asks and is taken aback at the faintness in her voice.

“Tsubasa.” Maria’s voice is stern. “You have to take care of yourself, too. Let me take you home. I asked the matron to call us if Elfnein agrees to let us visit her tomorrow. But for now, _we_ need to think of _you_.” Her voice is stern and her touch is firm but her embrace is an anchor that keeps her from getting too light-headed.

Did she miss all that?

“Okay.”

She agrees.

But it’s for her. For Elfnein.


	19. 1.18 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A picture is worth a thousand words.
> 
> "But an explanation would've been nice...."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment!

### EIGHTEEN

She’s surprised at her get-well wishes: she has a little bouquet of flowers in a small glass jar, a worn out plush bunny, and a box.

The flowers probably came from Hashiri, so they probably have some hidden meaning that she’ll look up later—she doesn’t want to be caught off guard if Hashiri wants to play another “game”—and the plush bunny is definitely Chino’s, so she’ll have to give that back as soon as possible, and the box…?

What is in the box?

She flails her arms in frustration when she realizes that the box is _just_ out of her reach. If she stretches any further, she’ll tumble to the floor. She can’t get out of bed, either, or else one of the nurses will sweep in _right_ at that moment and scold her for not taking it easy.

She doesn’t even have a cold!

More seriously though, she settles down to give herself the proper attention she requires.

After all, it’s been eighteen days since her last panic attack—a new record, so that’s something to feel good about.

She has to keep ahold of that fact with her whole body. She can’t let it escape.

Eighteen days is the longest she’s gone without a debilitating flashback. It is progress. Itty bitty progress, true, but it’s _progress_ , gosh darn it! As long as she remembers, she’ll get better.

Alright, enough heavy thinking.

Curiosity is much more satisfying, so she throws caution into the winds and has the box with her on the bed in just a handful of seconds. Her feet aren’t even cold from touching the tiles.

She looks in the box.

A girl with really wild red hair and a super-happy grin stares up at her, frozen mid-wave—from a hospital bed. Oh. She wears a hospital gown. Wires connect her to stuff out of the camera’s view. She doesn’t look sickly, though.

Beneath it are more photos: the same girl, now properly clothed, waves again, but this time she’s with an older man and they’re standing in front of an apartment. Next, she is in a living room; another girl is beside her, gaze downwards and hands clasped in her lap.

Hey, that girl actually looks like Mrs. Tsubasa.

Then, they are at a concert, and Mrs. Tsubasa— _Miss_ Tsubasa, probably—looks a lot more relaxed.

A stage, with Miss Tsubasa and the girl holding microphones; it’s too blurry and dark to make out their expressions.

Another stage, brighter lights, and complete costumes. Miss Tsubasa and the girl look really, really happy. There are a few more with similar theme.

Then it’s a hospital again. The girl is asleep… she looks… sick.

Then, a grave stone. It’s blurry, but: _Kanade Amou_.

A time skip, probably, because the next is Miss Tsubasa alone on stage. Then there’s Miss Tsubasa _and_ Miss Maria. They perform together a lot.

It ends with a wedding picture.

Oh.

It’s a story with a happy ending.


	20. 1.19 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another reconciliation between past and present.

### NINETEEN

It’s been a while since she last thought of that time.

There was a lot of… badness. But she prefers to think of the brightest parts—seeing Kirika and Shirabe go back to school, which had been a dream of hers since they had first been pulled out of elementary school. Also, meeting Tsubasa.

She didn’t know the shy, nervous girl who had clung to Kanade’s hand, just as Tsubasa didn’t know the crybaby who had hidden behind Serena. Already, at that fateful time, they were rigorously-defined, seemingly immutable.

Of course, they can’t completely erase their past selves from their minds. Young Tsubasa makes appearances often enough, and so does young Maria.

Like right now—crying over events long gone, long resolved. Or, maybe she’s crying because of the sheer power in this handful of photos. Or, she’s crying because _this_ is Tsubasa’s way of helping, without words. Or, because there is a little girl nineteen miles away who deserves, at this very moment, so much more than what the world has yet shown her.

Alright, yes. She’s crying for all of the above and then some.

Tsubasa hands her another tissue.

Craning her head from her position in Tsubasa’s arms, she takes a look at the tissue box, because she’s pretty sure they should have run out by now. Between the two of them, there’s been a lot of crying this evening (more so on her part that Tsubasa, but close enough). But, no, the tissue box _still_ has tissues left.

“It’s infinite,” Tsubasa murmurs into her ear.

She giggles, not only at the joke but also at the ticklish puff of air that brushes her ear. One last sweep across her eyes, and she feels that she has cried herself to a better place.

Pulling away from Tsubasa’s embrace, she says, “We should put these in an envelope.”

Tsubasa shakes her head. “No,” she reiterates. “They belong in a box.”

Considering it, it makes sense. An envelope is too slim for the weight and presence of these memories.

So she rummages around their closet for a box while Tsubasa runs through the selected photos one last time.

“Will this do?” She holds up a plain white box, which she thinks used to hold her pins before she just left them scattered on their vanity.

Tsubasa nods.

Once they have the photos in the box and the box sealed with a bit of tape, she sets it beneath her phone on her bedside table.

She thinks she should invest in more tissues.

She’s going to be crying a lot in the upcoming months, and not just sad tears—happy ones, and frustrated ones, too. Elfnein is such a precocious child and probably not prone to mischief, but the frustration of being helpless in the face of the child’s fears—yes, that’s going to frustrate her a lot.

But let’s see how this plays out before she starts making plans again.

(How is she supposed to restrain herself?? This is significantly more difficult than she had anticipated….)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment! If there's anything in my writing that you think sounds awkward or could be better, or if there's some element in particular that you like, please do tell me. Or just request a theme or something, that's fine too; I got a review over on FF asking for humor... I will try my best to write something amusing soon.


	21. 1.20 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Um... we... sent you an email...? It must've gotten lost in your spam folder!" ft. Genjuurou.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment! :)

### TWENTY

She hums as she pulls into the parking lot, bobbing her head along to the tune.

It’s too bad Tsubasa doesn’t share her love for English pop music. To be fair, it’s mostly because her grasp of English is still very shaky, despite how many lessons she takes. Well, somethings are just not meant to be.

She stops by the lounge to leave their lunches, peeks in on her wife (who has extraordinary tunnel vision), and finally makes it to her own office. Thank goodness she’s not on standby today.

Nope, today she is to catch up on her own paperwork.

Hm, maybe standby duty would have been better. Well, she’ll have to work through it really fast so that she can tag along with the patrols later.

It’s more disappointing that the matron told her Elfnein requested time alone. And forewarning for their next visit.

Had they come on too strong?

That’s difficult to say.

Yes, everything is moving very quickly, since they had been approved only that Tuesday afternoon. And they met Elfnein yesterday, completely out of the blue.

It’s just that, somehow, she simply _knew_ , in her heart of hearts, that Elfnein needed her—and that _she_ needed Elfnein.

Sighing, she returns her attention to the paperwork waiting patiently.

“…I completely forgot work exists.”

No sooner has she settled down, however, that a knock sounds on her door.

“Come in?”

Genjuurou enters, appearing distinctly stern.

She gulps, wondering if this is another lecture about taking care of Tsubasa—but she hasn’t done anything! As far as she knows, anyway….

“Genjuurou… what can I do for you today?” she asks in the sweetest voice she has.

He is not impressed. Crossing his arms, he says, “You can check your calls.”

Her calls?

She pulls out her cell, turning it on—lo and behold, there is a small _20_ next to an equally small phone icon.

“Oops….” When did she get that many calls? Surely she would’ve noticed receiving _that many calls_!

Genjuurou takes a seat in front of her, and even though she’s the one behind the desk and this _is_ her office, she feels like a little kid about to get reprimanded by the principal.

“All I’ve gotten is a _text_ from my niece, telling me things are fine.”

Yeah, that’s totally, _completely_ Tsubasa’s fault.

Throwing his hands up in the air, he growls, “It’s _Thursday_ , I’ve been waiting since Tuesday evening for news from you!”

Alright, this _is_ her fault. Tsubasa’s not big on communication—not even towards her family ( _especially_ her family). So, it falls upon her to inform her wife’s uncle and father about big family developments on Tsubasa’s behalf.

Like, telling them that they’re in the next stage of the adoption process.

She sighs. Really, it’s hasn’t even been that long since they moved forward, but this is something the entire Kazanari family has been waiting anxiously on. And actually, a lot _has_ happened in that little interval.

“Well, make yourself comfortable….”


	22. 1.21 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blackmail!

### TWENTY-ONE

She enters to find her wife bribing her uncle: “I’ll give you copies of _certain_ _photos_ of Tsubasa’s twenty-first birthday if you tell Mr. Kazanari for us,” Maria asks, clasping her hands beneath her chin and pouting slightly.

It does not help that Genjuurou is seriously considering Maria’s offer; the stern crease in his forehead lessens as he raises his eyebrows in intrigue.

“You will do _no_ such thing,” she has to save her dignity, so she strides into the room and comes to a halt behind Maria, hands resting lightly on her shoulders. “Though I do recall that we _erased_ all traces of the… _alleged_ photos.” Somebody please tell her Maria did _not_ make copies of those ridiculous photographs behind her back.

Maria twists around to address her, pout even more pronounced. “But it’s in our best interest, darling!” she insists. “Or else _we’ll_ have to tell your father that we kept him completely out of the loop _and_ told your uncle first.”

Her eyebrows furrow in an instinctive grimace—she had forgotten entirely.

“You _forgot_ , didn’t you?” Maria reads her mind, and she glares at both Maria’s wry expression and Genjuurou’s blatant exasperation.

“ _Genuinely_ , I assure you. It _genuinely_ slipped my mind,” she asserts, tweaking a lock of Maria’s hair in playful reprimand.

Maria huffs but returns to her point, “Isn’t it worth it, though?”

Scoffing, she retorts, “Perhaps for _you_ , but not for me.” She eyes Genjuurou’s smirk, just barely there. “ _Definitely_ not for me.”

At last Genjuurou sees it fit to respond, for he cajoles her, “It can’t be that bad, Tsubasa. After all, I was there for the main celebration, and you were very collected all throughout.”

During the formal celebration, of _course_ she had been collected—nearly the entire clan had been there to commemorate her coming of age.

The _after party_ , however, was another matter entirely, and she is not about to let potential blackmail material leave the confines of her household, not on her life!

“ _We_ ,” she emphasizes by squeezing Maria’s shoulder, “will tell Father later this week.”

Maria groans. She stage whispers to Genjuurou, likely in an attempt to pay her back, “Tsubasa _got drunk_ and spent the rest of the night playing _ninjas_ with Hibiki and Chris. You wouldn’t _believe_ how many times she tripped over her own feet!”

Genjuurou takes a second to process it before he bursts out laughing. Maria throws her smug half-smirk at her.

Face red, she mutters, “Photos, or it never happened.”

“But there _are_!”

“There are _not_ ,” she insists, though later today she is going to ransack their home in search for whatever copies Maria may have hidden. If they are electronic, however….

Fear grips her.

It must show on her face, because Maria gives in, reassuring her, “I was just joking, darling. There are no pictures.”

She sighs in relief. Genjuurou looks decidedly dejected.

“Only a fifteen-minute video stored in a really well-hidden flash drive.”

The horror!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review!


	23. 1.22 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And when exactly were you going to tell me??"

### TWENTY-TWO

After work, she heads to the grocery store.

Since she’s been condemned to facing Mr. Kazanari tomorrow, she has to restock for the dinner they’ll have.

That means they won’t be able to visit Elfnein, but perhaps it’s for the best. She’ll have to remember to call and see if Elfnein would like to have them over on Sunday—Sunday is okay, right? Not _too_ soon, but also not _too_ distant….

“But before that, I have to face the dragon,” she grumbles, picking up a hand basket on her way in.

She makes a quick stop to the sweets aisle; she might as well reward herself ahead of time.

Once that’s out of the way, she checks the ingredients list Tsubasa texted her for what she needs to buy. She squints at some of the names on the list—super-traditional Japanese cuisine has never been her forte, and so she has to stop some employees to help her find what she needs.

Hm, it looks like she’s going to need an actual cart: twenty-two items and she’s barely half-way through the ingredients list! Are they preparing an entire feast? She’s pretty sure only Tsubasa’s father and uncle are coming for dinner, but she suddenly has an uneasy feeling….

She stops in front of the rice, perplexed because Tsubasa’s text tells her to buy _another_ bag of rice.

_‘Hey, are you sure we need more rice? I thought we had a bag in the pantry.’_

While she waits for a reply, she trails her gaze over the boxes of instant rice meals and instant noodles. She remembers having to literally tie down Kirika and Shirabe at one point just so that they would eat their vegetables.

She hopes Elfnein won’t be as picky about food as they were—assuming everything goes well, of course!

(Though, honestly, she’s getting kind of tired having to check herself….)

 _‘Yes and yes,’_ is all Tsubasa finally texts back.

_‘But why do we need more?’_

It’s not major news that they have, so it wouldn’t make sense to invite anyone else from the Kazanari clan, and it’s not like Mr. Kazanari to bring guests anywhere, especially since he knows how private Tsubasa is, so then why on Earth do they need so much food?

_‘Because Genjuurou is coming with and we’re going to have a picnic with Elfnein.’_

“WHAT.”

She blushes when other shoppers give her sidelong looks, but this is the first she’s heard of _having a picnic with Elfnein_ , so of course she has her wife on the line right away.

“Maria?” Tsubasa sounds completely calm.

She takes a few deep breaths before she demands, “What do you mean we’re going to have a picnic with Elfnein?!”

“This Sunday; I called to arrange it.”

Wanting to smack her forehead on something hard, she resigns herself to questioning Tsubasa later. “That still doesn’t explain why we need so much food,” she asks instead.

“You forget how much Genjuurou eats.”

“ _Oh_ , hm. You have a point… maybe I should buy more…?”

Tsubasa laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never noticed how much numbers pop up until I tried to eliminate all except the chapter's number. Also, I somehow fudged up my tally in my notes, but I caught that before I made a mistake, lol.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who commented! You guys make me feel better ^^


	24. 1.23 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _They lived happily ever after..._

### TWENTY-THREE

About halfway through lunch, the doctor has let her out of the infirmary.

Her footsteps are sharp and clear without the normal bustle and conversation of other people filling up the halls. Once she reaches the doors to the grand hall, though, she can hear low murmurs coming through the door.

She debates whether or not she wants to go in. She already had a few sandwiches at the infirmary, so she’s not hungry, but she doesn’t have anything to do except for homework, which honestly doesn’t take very long. She could do that. Or, she could enjoy being outside without any interruptions.

But in her (shared) room, a box of someone else’s memories waits for her.

Turning back around, she returns to her room.

There, in locker #23A, is the box of someone else’s memories. She pulls them out, and she doesn’t really know what to do with the pictures in her hands. Mrs. Tsubasa obviously meant to tell her something, but there’s no note, no word of explanation.

Just her own conclusion that some stories really do have happy endings.

On a whim, she shuffles the photos and then lays them out on her bed. She tries to put them back in order, single file line, by rationalizing her way through them.

Some are easy: Miss Maria appears in the last third, and Miss Amou is by herself only in the first few. She judges the relative order of the ones where Miss Tsubasa is alone by looking closely at her expression, her posture, and even the background. It’s easiest when Miss Maria appears, because Miss Tsubasa goes from shy and awkward to cool and confident.

Patterns, cycles that are easy to spot—she likes finding the underlying order.

Going back to the happy ending thought, though, she has to say that Mrs. Tsubasa’s and Mrs. Maria’s story isn’t over yet.

She’s only a kid. She knows she shouldn’t know, shouldn’t have even an inkling of what she knows.

But the fact of the matter is that real life isn’t like stories. Stories have to stop somewhere. Life keeps going; it doesn’t stop even though you’re stuck years in the past, stuck in a foreign country, stuck outside a burning house with Carol screaming and Papa’s last words and…

And she’s crying. She doesn’t want to damage the pictures, so she rolls over and smothers her face in her pillow.

She knows Mrs. Tsubasa and Mrs. Maria want to adopt her.

The matron told her.

The evidence told her.

The hope she still has told her.

She rolls over again to get one photo in particular.

It’s the first one where Miss Tsubasa’s smiling again. She’s by herself, a robe over her concert costume, and even in the picture tears are visible in her eyes. But she’s smiling, and it’s a wobbly smile, _but she’s smiling_.

She’s only a kid. It’s okay for her to believe in second chances, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elfnein keeps getting the sad, introspective chapters with vague allusions to The Great Tragedy :P It gets better.
> 
> (It has to, or else I wouldn't be able to bear writing this, lol.)
> 
> Please comment! And recommend this fic to people if you really like it.


	25. 1.24 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Welcome, Father. Welcome, Uncle."

### TWENTY-FOUR

“Handa the younger placed fifth this year. His work appeared quite different,” her father remarks as he cuts into his meal.

“Seishuu Handa? Yes, I saw. I think it’s an improvement; though unpolished, his calligraphy is… more alive.” Beside her, Maria sighs into her napkin and Genjuurou rolls his eyes.

He nods, musing, “Though Mr. Handa is an eccentric gentleman, there is no doubting his choice to send his son away to find himself. Even young Handa sees it now.”

She agrees. Words are tricky creatures—they hover just out of her own grasp, and sometimes they falter in the face of the monster that rears its head in her throat. But, they manage to communicate in other ways.

Like sending sons away to remote islands, or delivering boxed memories to little girls.

But for the sake of Maria, she unglues her jaw (in her mind, a creaking sound accompanies this action). “Have the renovations on the family compound near completion?”

It feels odd, speaking of business during dinner, but Maria perks up, and even Genjuurou refocuses on the conversation.

Her father smiles, a marginal quirk of one corner of his mouth; he replies, “The expected completion date is the 24th of November.”

“That’s nearly a month earlier than what we thought. I bet even _that_ is too far away from now, though,” Genjuurou smirks, but he softens when he ventures into nostalgia, “I remember how excited I was when I adopted Chris. Granted, that was _after_ she ran away, came back, caused some trouble, ran away again….” He chuckles. “You’re in for a fun ride.”

“Hibiki said something similar,” Maria grimaces.

Clasping Maria’s hand, she declares in full confidence, “Elfnein is a good child. I doubt she will cause us any of that sort of trouble.”

“Elfnein?” her father is quick to ask.

Maria nods, gushing, “She’s _such_ a sweet child! She’s just so excited about the world—if anything, we’re going to be spending a fortune on books and materials and classes.”

“Sounds like you’ve a scholar on your hands.”

“You have decided, then?” The question is for her.

She chews slowly, buying time for the answer she will give. After all, this is the answer he will give the rest of the clan, and the answer she will give them herself when the time comes.

It is already set in stone.

“ _We_ wish to adopt Elfnein into our home. That is why we want the house prepared as soon as possible, so that we may provide her the space and freedom children need,” she manages to state without stumbling. It reveals just enough that the rest can remain unsaid.

They will not protest. Probably. Not much, at least.

Maria squeezes her hand, and she says, “I’m sure you’ll like Elfnein, Father.”

He contains his reaction to a single blink, but everyone knows he is secretly pleased at the title.

“But when can we meet her?” Genjuurou cuts in.

“Not for a while yet,” Maria tells them. “Honestly, we only met this Wednesday, and we don’t want to overwhelm her,” she laughs sheepishly, “but—hopefully—soon.”

Nodding, Mr. Kazanari reminds his brother, “Patience is virtue. In the meantime, we have much to do to have their home ready for them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More background info, setting up the stage for certain developments.
> 
> Please comment! ^^


	26. 1.25 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elfnein has a quiet Saturday.

### TWENTY-FIVE

Morning finds her still curled up in bed. The sunlight streaming in, however, disturbs her just enough that she gives up sleeping in longer.

Her roommates have already left, except for Hazuki, who somehow stays asleep despite the light hitting her right in the face.

She trips over Mr. Penguin on her way to the bathroom; she must have tossed him in her sleep. She rests him against the head board. She imagines he says thank you.

When she returns, she takes her time dressing. It’s warm in here, but outside there fall weather provides a noticeable chill, so she pulls on her favorite fluffy sweater.

It’s kind of funny, how she didn’t like the sweater at first, but it’s grown on her.

She thinks that Mrs. Tsubasa and Mrs. Maria will also grow on her—well, from the little she saw a few days ago.

But tomorrow she’s going to have the chance to _really_ get to know them, to observe and analyze them. She’ll hold off on making conclusions until she’s gathered as much data as possible.

“Mornin’, Elfnein. Sleep well?” the matron greets her in the grand hall.

She nods, drawing an empty plate towards her. There are a lot of choices, some more healthy than others, but considering that she’s still so short, she decides on whole grain toast, a variety of fruits, and oatmeal. She’s not going to stay short forever, not if she can help it.

No one else at the table tries to talk to her—the adults, because they know she’s quiet, and the children because they’ve pretty much given up on her.

It’s a plus side to tomorrow: she’s never talked to Mrs. Tsubasa and Mrs. Maria, so her usual subjects of conversation are enough to tide her over for a while. It’s easy talking about plants and bugs and all sorts of stuff—and she talked to Mrs. Tsubasa about history and _A Series of Unfortunate Events_ , too!

Before she knows it, she’s smiling. She stuffs her mouth full of oatmeal to hide it, but inside she can feel giddy flutters.

So much so that as soon as she finishes breakfast, she dashes out to the back yard at the first opportunity; her hands shake with all the energy she suddenly has.

Of course, being of a practical mind (or so she likes to think), she uses her newfound energy to weed the garden.

Mr. Ren usually takes care of it, but the cold makes his arthritis act up. Personally, she suspects some of his war injuries give him trouble, too. But, anyway, she likes to volunteer to help him with the garden year-round and especially in the winter. Gardens are great places to observe the effects of changing variables.

Her fingers dig through dirt as she tugs up stubborn weeds. Pretty soon, she has a decent-sized pile on the side.

Something bright glints beneath some soil.

It’s a quarter. She knows because the library has a complete collection; they’re worth twenty-five cents in the United States.

Slipping it into her pocket, she decides it’ll be her good luck charm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment! ^^


	27. 1.26 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria gets a little sidetracked.

### TWENTY-SIX

Hat, sunglasses, purse—wallet, keys, cell phone.

Alright, she’s pretty sure she’s not forgetting anything. But don’t quote her on that.

“Tsubasa, you have the picnic basket packed, right?” She’s bouncing on her feet and her hands are constantly tugging at her clothes. A giddy feeling wells up in her chest, tickling her throat with half-formed notes.

She tries to stop her fidgeting when Tsubasa comes out of the kitchen, basket in hand.

“Calm down,” Tsubasa says, tucking a stray lock behind her ear.

She pouts, and Tsubasa pulls her in for a tight hug.

“I’m nervous. You’re nervous. Elfnein’s nervous—probably. We’re _so_ going to mess this up!” Her hands climb up to clutch at Tsubasa’s sweater. The soft material snags on one of her rings, whoops.

She tries to discreetly untangle herself as Tsubasa acknowledges, “Yes, we are nervous.”

Somehow her wedding ring got caught, too. “But we’re definitely ready to take this next step in our lives. We’re ready to be parents,” she replies, mostly to keep the conversation going so that she can get her rings free without unraveling Tsubasa’s sweater, but even so her breath hitches in her throat.

Weaving a hand through her hair, Tsubasa marvels, “A family… I can hardly believe it. Do you think Elfnein knows?”

“Knows what?” It’s really hard to maneuver her hands without alerting Tsubasa.

“Do you think Elfnein knows that we intend to adopt her?”

That actually makes her hum thoughtfully; she hadn’t considered that. “I think it’s kind of obvious, right? But you know what, we should be clear with her—be upfront about why we’re… you know.” She makes a vague sound of explanation.

Both rings seem to be particularly stubborn.

A few moments pass, and she realizes that Tsubasa hasn’t replied. “Tsubasa?”

“…You got your rings stuck in my sweater, didn’t you?” comes the wry question.

“Nooo… what makes you say that?” she says, even though at this point it’s pretty pointless.

Under her hands, Tsubasa’s sigh makes her shoulder blades go up and down. She slumps further into Tsubasa, giving up on detangling her rings.

Chuckling, Tsubasa tells her, “Just yank your hands away. It’s fine if it damages the sweater—I will wear a different one, one that does _not_ have stray threads.”

Well, she doesn’t quite _yank_ away her hands, but she does pull them away. The caught thread unravels a bit before breaking off, though from there it’s easy to remove from the prongs on her rings.

“It’s not that bad.” She smooths her fingers over the fabric, and it’s as if nothing ever happened.

Tsubasa shrugs again. “Alright. Then, let us leave before we get nervous all over again.”

Her eyes widen at that. She had completely forgotten she was nervous!

Except now it creeps back.

“Thanks for reminding me,” she grumbles, only to be pulled into Tsubasa’s embrace again.

“Worrywart,” her wife admonishes fondly. “You checked the picnic basket _twenty-six_ times this morning, remember? Everything will be fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted another Maria chapter, but I wasn't sure what to write.... A bit of couple-y love, yeah? I swear we'll get to the picnic tomorrow.
> 
> Please comment!


	28. 1.27 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Please_ do not mess this up.

### TWENTY-SEVEN

They sit silently. None of them know where to begin.

Both she and Elfnein fidget—she seems to have caught her wife’s nervousness from this morning.

Her throat is dry. Should she bring up the photographs? Or should she talk about something else? What else is there? She doubts children have any interest in the art of calligraphy (well, _most_ children), and her work is not appropriate conversation for children, and her mind is completely, utterly, traitorously blank of all else.

“So, ah, I checked with the matron about your allergies,” Maria finally says, bless her, “and thankfully you don’t have any, but just in case, if you feel nauseous or dizzy or itchy, tell us immediately!”

Except, she knows that two of those symptoms can also come from anxiety. She would know.

But the child, Elfnein, nods tentatively, and she even manages to murmur, “Okay.” Now the bravery of this child puts her to shame.

So she forces down the self-conscious fear and helps Maria bring out the food—which is _a lot_. She hopes the child, Elfnein, has a good appetite.

“I brought a little of everything—” such an understatement—“so we have sandwiches, soup, pasta, rice, fish, beef, chicken, turkey, a fruit salad somewhere in here, several kinds of juice, tea for Tsubasa, and—”

“Breathe, Maria,” she cuts in, because Elfnein’s eyes are wide at the amount of food Maria is pulling out of the basket.

Maria huffs, “I was _going_ to say, ‘and pastries.’ But don’t worry about finishing it all! Tsubasa and I will help you out.”

Elfnein is, apparently, stuck on the sheer number of containers scattered around the blanket. Frankly, she is, too.

“There are a lot of pastries. I don’t remember packing that many,” she finds herself remarking, and Elfnein nods in agreement.

Maria chuckles. “I have something of a sweet tooth,” she says. “Actually, that’s an understatement. I once ate twenty-seven mini-pies at a pie eating contest.”

Elfnein gapes up at her in awe.

“But I make sure to eat balanced, _healthy_ meals every day,” Maria hastily appends. “Too many sweets will spoil your appetite, and we definitely want you to be strong and healthy.”

Nodding, Elfnein adds, “And tall!”

“Tall?” Tsubasa repeats.

“Yeah!” Elfnein nods vigorously. Her heart practically melts at the display of childish earnestness. “I want to be as tall as a bear!”

She blinks. “That is very tall.” Elfnein’s face falls, so she amends, waving her hands, “But I am sure you can reach your goal! Maria brought enough to feed a horse, so why not a bear?”

Giggling, Elfnein brightens up. It makes her grin back.

“I hope that doesn’t mean you won’t eat sweets with me every now and then,” Maria chimes in as she hands them both bowls heaping with practically a little bit of everything.

Elfnein blushes, but she nods.

“Make sure to keep ants away,” she remembers to warn them. With so much sugar, they are bound to be attracted.

“Did you know ants can carry up to one hundred times its own body weight?” Elfnein gushes.

“I did not,” she says, impressed.

“Amazing!” Maria says. “What else can they do?”

Elfnein is evidently glad to enlighten them, for she launches into a very detailed and animated explanation of how ants are, in her words, “really cool!”

It looks like they have quite the scholar on their hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly longer than usual. Part two tomorrow. I hope this met your expectations... :P


	29. 1.28 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Hi. Remember me?_

### TWENTY-EIGHT

Before she knows it, twenty-eight minutes have passed—and the only reason she knows that is because she just happened to glance at her watch in passing. She’s had a ton of food and she’s pretty sure she’s talked their ears off about how cool ants are.

Ants are great. If she can’t be a bear, then she’ll be an ant. Err, metaphorically speaking, that is.

Or maybe literally? But being an ant would make it a lot more likely that she’d get crushed underfoot.

“That’s a pretty big watch you have,” Mrs. Maria comments. It probably caught her interest when she glanced at it; the watch is so bulky on her wrist, it clinks when she moves. Come to think of it, she’s surprised they didn’t point it out before.

She takes her time chewing on a mouthful of bear claw before mumbling, “It was Papa’s.”

Mrs. Maria leans forward, forehead creased. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that,” she asks.

She glances away, feeling the food in her stomach start to churn. She hates feeling anxious. She doesn’t want a repeat of what happened a few days ago, though, so she goes through her breathing exercises.

“It’s okay,” Mrs. Tsubasa murmurs. “You need not sacrifice your peace of mind for our curiosity.”

The way Mrs. Tsubasa speaks when she’s nervous reminds her of the older books in the library—and thinking of the library, of just how much she’s learned through those dusty books, gives her just enough courage to repeat herself.

“It was Papa’s.” She says it a little bit too loudly, and she flinches, but her cheeks are burning and she’s not sure if she wants to look at or away from them, so she stares down at her lap.

Down at the watch dangling off her hand.

A soft touch to her knee startles her into looking up; Mrs. Maria has a really, really sad look on her face.

Maybe she understands.

“I’m—I’m not sure why I wore it today,” Mrs. Maria’s sad eyes make her confess. “It just… I just did.”

Her throat is all blocked up. She can feel her lungs spasm and her eyes start to itch. She doesn’t want to cry.

Why does this keep happening?

It makes her so—so _mad_.

But also… sad.

“Can I hug you, Elfnein?”

She bites down on her lip. She unconsciously hunches over, but she nods jerkily.

Not a moment later, Mrs. Maria pulls her into her lap; her head is right above Mrs. Maria’s chest, and she can hear Mrs. Maria’s heart pounding. She clenches her jaw tighter, because she doesn’t want to cry, she doesn’t, she really doesn’t want to cry.

Then there’s a hand cradling the back of her head, and Mrs. Maria’s arm squeezing her, and then Mrs. Tsubasa whispers, “You miss Papa, don’t you?”

Once she starts crying, she can’t stop.

Because it’s true. Even though this is nice, with Mrs. Maria and Mrs. Tsubasa…

She misses Papa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just didn't have it in me to write fluff today, so cue a dose of life's downs. Also, better late than never, whelp; at least it's not near midnight yet. I'm kind of surprised it took this long to start losing fuel.
> 
> Please review!


	30. 1.29 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria tries to console Elfnein.

### TWENTY-NINE

When her mother died—well, at the time, she didn’t have time to process and mourn. She was just too busy. It wasn’t until things settled down, a few weeks after the fact, that it hit her.

But when it did, she was inconsolable for a long time; it was a blessing in disguise that she was isolated from Kirika and Shirabe.

Afterwards, she had to settle for having mementos of her mother whenever she felt the need to have her near.

When her sister died, she spent every subsequent moment of her life, up until she met Tsubasa, playing that awful moment over and over again in her head.

Guilt and anger and depression and fear roiled in her chest for a long time. Too long. It tore her up inside and outside.

She tried to become a person who could live in the world that had killed Serena—but she couldn’t maintain that persona very well. It was just an act, something to help her be strong without her sister.

Now, with Elfnein sobbing in her arms, she tries to remember what had helped her cope with the aching loss.

Obviously what she had longed for most was the embrace of her mother, the embrace of her sister.

Honestly, she _still_ longs for them, even though her life no longer revolves around them.

But this little person, clinging to remnants of her beloved father—what words can she give her that will alleviate that pain?

She doesn’t know.

All she can do is hug her so tightly it hurts to breathe.

Twenty-nine years ago her mother saved her and her sister from the slums of Warsaw.

Now it’s her turn to save Elfnein. She’s not going to let Elfnein’s earnest soul succumb to despair like she herself had.

“You’re not alone, Elfnein,” she says into soft blonde curls. “Not now, not ever again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another sad chapter. I might update again later today, when I get back from shopping with my dad, and I /swear/ it'll be a happier chapter.


	31. 1.30 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsubasa joins in on the comforting.

### THIRTY

“Don’t worry about it,” Maria reassures Elfnein as she dabs away stray tears with her handkerchief. “It’s natural. It happens to all of us, sooner or later.” Her throat bobs and her lips purse; she knows what Maria’s thinking.

It should have been _later_ , not sooner.

“As she said. There is no shame in grief,” she adds. Elfnein twists around to look up at her with serious eyes.

She tries not to tremble, because she is holding Elfnein and it would be _extremely bad_ if she were to drop the child.

They have spent a good thirty minutes crying—all of them. Maria’s eyes are bloodshot, and Elfnein’s face is still red. She supposes her own eyes are bloodshot, as well.

“Does… does it get better?”

It is asked in such a _small_ voice.

She cannot give an absolute answer, for there is none. “Sometimes. Sometimes it strikes you out of the blue. Sometimes it lingers, a melancholic fog around you. Sometimes it is a cool breeze on a spring day.” She is speaking obliquely, she knows, but Elfnein nods along. “Sometimes it is the distant memory of winter in the height of summer—and everything in between.”

Elfnein curls into her, hands grasping her sweater in tight fists.

The weight of another person in her arms is unfamiliar. She has never been around children; her arms have known only Kanade and Maria, her father and uncle, and Hibiki.

None of them could have prepared her for this: Elfnein is so slight, so _fragile_.

“There, there,” she murmurs.

“’m not cryin’,” Elfnein tells her, voice muffled. “’m jus’… just resting a little bit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus chapter.
> 
> Please review.


	32. 1.31 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way to becoming a parental figure.

### THIRTY-ONE

“The matron gives us permission to stay another hour,” she reports to Maria and Elfnein, who are in the middle of packing away the leftovers of their lunch.

Maria pauses to clap her hands, “Excellent! Elfnein wants to show us the garden. She says she helps the librarian with it, so of course we have to check it out!”

Elfnein ducks her head bashfully.

“Hard work is the basis for a fruitful life,” she praises, “it is a good habit to cultivate.”

“Like Hufflepuffs?”

She is proud of herself for remembering, “From _Harry Potter_? Yes, the Hufflepuff house ideal is the keystone to the rest.”

Maria interjects, “But remember, all work and no play makes for a boring life! We don’t want to be workaholics and miss out on everything else life has to give us, hmm?”

“That is why we learn _balance_ and _moderation_ , my dear,” she retorts, but with a relaxed smile.

“I think gardening is a little bit of both,” Elfnein says, looking up at her with wide eyes. “I have lots of fun but I’m also working at the same time, so it’s good, right?”

She blinks, startled at the realization that Elfnein is looking for _approval_ from her. She swallows against the emotion welling up in her chest and she says, “Of course. But please, do not take my pedantic words as an absolute truth. Investigate your world and decide for yourself what ideals you want to uphold.”

For most of her childhood she tried to live and think as she thought her father wanted, regardless of her own fledgling opinions.

“We’ll always be here for you, Elfnein, no matter what,” Maria adds, tucking a strand of Elfnein’s hair back.

Bright blue eyes flicker between herself and Maria; there is some confusion in Elfnein’s expression.

It reminds her that they have yet to be completely clear with their intentions. Despite her straight-forward intentions, her actions and words are, more often than not, oblique.

“You know… um, well, Elfnein… we want to adopt you!” Maria blurts out.

Better Maria than her. Her tongue is lead, and she probably would have stuttered too much to be at all coherent.

Elfnein looks startled, recoiling before stopping.

Maria hastily backtracks, “But—if you don’t want—you don’t have to agree if you don’t want to.” She takes a deep breath, then smiles gently at Elfnein. “There’s no hurry or pressure. We just want you to be happy, whether with us or here,” she says.

Continuing to blink, Elfnein does not respond, other than to begin to fidget with her father’s watch.

“Let us look at the garden,” she prompts, forestalling the silence that threatens to consume them. “We have,” she looks at her own watch, “thirty-one minutes left before we must part ways.”

“Okay,” Elfnein mumbles. It passes, however, as her little face brightens once again. “I want to show you the pumpkins!”

Children are pretty resilient, aren’t they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More positive, right?
> 
> Please comment!


	33. 1.32 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elfnein starts to move on.

### THIRTY-TWO

Her fingers and toes are chilled, but she’s pretty sure it’s not cold enough to worry about frostbite. A breeze ruffles her hair and tries to chill her further, but her clothes keep her body nice and toasty. She doesn’t mind the cold, though; in fact, she prefers it over the sweaty heat of summer.

She looks up. Chooses a patch of sky, clear of clouds and farther from the moon, then works outward in a line. Through trial and error, she’s figured out that it’s better to look at points along a line instead of points within an area. It’s easier to keep track this way.

In the night’s silence, the ticking of her Papa’s watch sounds clearly in her ears. For every _tick_ , she counts one. Her head on her knees, the watch pressed against her ear, and a gradual increase.

But she only makes it to thirty-two before her train of thought barrels right past the next number and pulls into a totally different station.

Papa taught her and Carol how to count. Papa was a scientist. Papa told her and Carol to see the world.

That’s what she remembers.

The watch isn’t particularly important. He had all sorts of complicated time pieces for his experiments. It’s only now that his watch is important, because it’s all she has. Carol took Papa’s glasses—

Just a little bit melted, and a spider web of cracks on the lenses.

It’d been a regular day for them, though Papa had been rather busy because of their recent move. She’s not sure what town it was—Quedlinburg and Rothenburg come to mind, but honestly all the remote villages blurred together into a continuous countryside. All she remembers is that they’d been there for a week or so, and she and Carol hadn’t been allowed in the actual village.

So they’d played in the fields while Papa worked… and they came home for dinner and found the cottage up in flames.

Villagers shouted and Carol freaked out and the fire just kept on burning, no one bothered to put it out, and she thinks she passed out, because then she was in a whole different place and Carol was so, so sullen.

She doesn’t know why they were shuffled from city to city afterwards, but she’s glad that before they left the social workers managed to find her Papa’s glasses and watch. Berlin happened, then they were in Japan—Professor Ryouko was Papa’s friend, apparently—and somehow Carol disappeared and Professor Ryouko disappeared and no one knew what to do with her. Papa's watch was all that stayed with her.

Eventually she ended up in the Schnee Orphanage, mostly because it was vaguely German, though she knows now that it’s insubstantial. Grasping at straws, as some people say.

Anyway, she’s been here a while. A few months, more or less.

In that time she got used to the daily monotony of life in an orphanage.

Now she’s looking at the stars and wondering if she wants to give Mrs. Maria and Mrs. Tsubasa an answer.

Because they asked a question.

She kind of wants to take her time… but she’s sick and tired of going back and forth between feelings. Between remembering her Papa and leaving him behind on the other side of the world.

The picnic was nice. It’s not anyone’s fault she breaks down sometimes. And, she sort of missed having people to talk to—having people listen to her.

Mrs. Tsubasa and Mrs. Maria are awkward. It’s not easy like it was with Papa, but that’s normal.

She just wants to go home.

Except home doesn’t exist anymore. It’s where the heart is, and her heart isn’t anywhere in particular right now, but she feels like she can get used to Mrs. Tsubasa’s funny way of speaking and Mrs. Maria’s over-eagerness. They’re like Papa, only in separate people.

Or, well, they’re their own people. With their own opinions. Like Papa. Who want her to have her own opinions, too.

Yeah, maybe she wants to go _home_ with them. With _them_ , not with Papa and Carol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer than usual chapter. I pretty much fudged any/all historical and canonical accuracy this story has, so... yeah. Creative license.
> 
> Also, it's been a month since I published the first chapter! :D I am so proud of myself; tbh I expected to lose steam, like, five days into the story.
> 
> Please comment!


	34. 1.33 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of wifely interactions with a drizzle of introspection.

### THIRTY-THREE

“Okay, _this_ time we’re going to keep Genjuurou up-to-date, and we’re going to give him a nice homemade pumpkin pie because we’re the best nieces he has.”

“Maria… we are his _only_ nieces.”

She spares a moment to wave a flour-covered hand dismissively, but most of her attention is on stretching the dough with the rolling pin; she’s _so_ glad she already had some dough in the freezer, and now she gets to use homegrown pumpkins instead of store bought!

And on _top_ of that, the pumpkins are the result of Elfnein’s hard work!

“Hand me the ruler, please, dear.”

Tsubasa sighs fondly, remarking, “Did you hear a word I just said?”

Oh, whoops—“No,” she sheepishly admits, glancing up at her wife. “I got a little carried away in my head thinking about the pie.”

Tsubasa rolls her eyes. “It is a _pie_ , Maria. Everything you make tastes wonderful, and my uncle does not care so long as it is from you, so _please_ pay attention to your darling wife,” she leans sideways on the counter, so she taps Tsubasa’s nose and leave a dusting of flour behind, “I feel as if I might die if I go a moment longer without your love!” Tsubasa’s usually-level voice raises dramatically at the end, though she does not go all out on the theatrics.

Giggling, she retorts, “Since when are you Princess Charming, hm?” She trims off some excess dough to fill in a too-thin area in the crust.

“I suppose… I was reminded how fortunate I am to have you with me today.”

“Tsubasa?” At Tsubasa’s solemn tone, Maria turns to really focus on her.

But Tsubasa smiles gently, reassuringly. Just as she smiles back, however, Tsubasa swipes her fingers through the flour on the counter and leaves a smear on Maria’s cheek.

“Tsubasa!” she splutters, sticking her tongue out and grimacing against the dry taste of flour that somehow ended up in her mouth.

Laughing, Tsubasa gets her a glass of water.

She wipes her hands on a towel before taking the glass. “You’re acting like a child now. What happened to my Romeo?” she accuses, pouting reproachfully.

“Yes, I am. I decided Romeo needs to have a little more fun,” Tsubasa says, now grinning widely.

Maria rolls her eyes. “Well, then I suppose that means you’ll have to be put down for a nap soon or else you’ll get cranky, yes?” She smirks.

Tsubasa shrugs, agreeing, “You will have to read me a bedtime story, tuck me in, and give me a good night kiss.”

And suddenly she can see where this is going.

“Elfnein didn’t say yes, though….”

“But she did not say _no_ , either,” Tsubasa counters, completely serious once again. “As I said—I am fortunate to have you with me. I am fortunate to know Elfnein, as well. I think we can make her happy.”

She glances back at the pie shell, biting her lip. “Get me the recipe for pumpkin pie, please,” she replies at last.

Tsubasa moves to the recipe box, and Maria returns to transfer the pie shell from the counter to a pie dish.

“Does a pie really need thirty-three eggs?”

She turns to Tsubasa in askance, questioning, “What? No, I’m pretty sure we only need three.”

Tsubasa squints down at the recipe. “This says thirty-three,” she insists.

Maria sighs, chiding, “Darling, you shouldn’t strain your eyes like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review!


	35. 1.34 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsubasa can't really commiserate with parenting woes, ft. Hibiki.

### THIRTY-FOUR

“Pie? Ooh, can I have some?” Hibiki exclaims the moment she spots the foil-covered tin on Tsubasa’s desk.

“Ah, no. There is only the tin left,” she apologetically informs her.

Hibiki shrugs. “That’s actually a good thing,” she admits. “Miku says I need to stop sneaking in sugars and carbs, or else I’ll give myself another heart attack.” Then, more ruefully, she says, “Personally, I’d say _Carol_ is going to do that for me.”

“You should heed your wife.” She thanks her starts that Elfnein is a well-behaved child.

“I hope you chose a calmer kid,” Hibiki half-jokes, apparently thinking along the same lines.

She chuckles. “However, you brought it upon yourself, Tachibana,” she points out.

Hibiki slouches further in her seat, groaning, “And so Miku likes to remind me whenever I complain a lot. She’s never going to let that go.”

“I should think not,” Tsubasa agrees.

“ _Yours_ may be planned, but I think my not-so-little surprise was the best decision I could’ve made, though,” Hibiki muses. “You know how… how torn up we were after the—y’know. And, I mean, we were recovering pretty well, but Carol did wonders for Miku. Vice versa, too. It makes me really happy. I just—the only thing is, I wish Carol would bond with me, too, you know?”

She shakes her head slowly. “I’m afraid not. Maria and I both get along well with Elfnein. I am sure, however, that Carol will come around.”

“What’s Elfnein like, anyway?” Hibiki asks, straightening up.

“A child,” she says, even though she knows it is not at all what Hibiki wants to know.

Hibiki pouts at her, insisting, “C’mon, I want to know what my future niece will be like!”

She sighs. “We wish to respect Elfnein’s privacy, not unlike how you wish to shelter Carol,” she admonishes.

“Oh, yeah, good point.” Sheepishly, apologetically, Hibiki shakes her head. “I’m sorry. I won’t pry, I promise.”

Nodding, she shuffles some papers around her desk until she finds a particular slip of paper. “Now, as to the reason I called you in the first place….” She slides it over.

“What?” Hibiki looks at the paper. “Oh! Maria’s birthday. Yeah, Miku and I will totally come—ohhhh,” she cuts herself off, looking alarmed. “We haven’t gotten a present for her yet. What do you get a thirty-four-year-old woman who pretty much has everything she wants and _isn’t_ going through a midlife crisis?”

“Hush, do not go around saying Maria’s age,” she scolds, entirely serious. The last time Maria felt “old,” she spent the whole night trying to reassure Maria that they had many, _many_ years left before they would be considered “old.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost skipped #34 and went to #35. I don't have a ledger for this, nothing except a sticky note that records how often their povs have occured -- and that's just tally marks, lol.
> 
> Anyway, yeah, more background info. What happened with Miku and Hibiki?? Unfortunately the answer to that won't come up for..... ages and ages later, whelp. I'm totally down for spoilers, though; I have like no self-control when it comes to these things :P
> 
> Please comment!


	36. 1.35 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two terrors check in with their older sister, ft. Kirika and Shirabe.

### THIRTY-FIVE

“Testing, testing, one-two-three!”

She has to stifle a laugh, and she says, “Kirika, I don’t think that’s how you test your internet connection.”

Through the grainy video feed, she isn’t sure what Kirika’s expression is, but it’s probably a pout.

“Eh? And why not!” Yes, Kirika is definitely pouting.

“Well, it definitely sounds like your microphone is working, but the video is low quality. Do you want to cancel the video call and just voice call so that we don’t lose the connection? It’d be terrible if we got cut off in the middle of the conversation.

Kirika snorts, “Yeah, we wouldn’t want a repeat of what happened the last time we called.”

“It was a perfectly reasonable reaction! You were in the middle of _Australia_ , for goodness’ sake, and what if you’d been attacked by some giant snake or crocodile or lizard??”

“Maria… I think you’re watching too many American movies.”

“Oh.” She’s crestfallen. “Really?”

Since there’s no audible reply but the figure on screen shifts, she assumes Kirika is nodding. “Please remember that I can’t see you well, Kirika,” she chastises.

“What? Oh, right, right! Okay, let’s switch to just voice call before we get too distracted, yeah?”

“Alright. I’ll see you in just a moment, Kirika.” She disconnects, the end dial blaring hollowly for just a second before it changes to indicate an incoming call. “Hello?”

“Hey, hey! Did’ya miss me?”

She laughs. “Of course, Kirika. I miss you, and Shirabe, and Chris,” she says.

There is the crunch of some sort of plastic in the background—“Are you keeping a varied, _healthy_ diet, Kirika? And don’t tell me you’re eating a variety of instant noodles and snacks, because you _know_ that’s not what I mean.”

Kirika laughs nervously, “Um, okay, then I won’t tell you.”

“ _Kirika!_ Has Chris been feeding you two well?”

“Geez, _mom_ , we can take care of ourselves, y’know!” Kirika is probably pouting again, the stubborn girl. “But, anyway, we’ve mostly been eating at restaurants lately, sometimes takeout, because we move around so much it gets too hectic. Don’t worry, Shirabe makes sure we have vegetables and fruits and some sort of weird fish last night that I’ve never seen before, it tasted kind of funny—but, yeah! Yeah, we’re eating okay.”

She smiles fondly to herself; she can just about picture Kirika pacing around, gesticulating widely as she went off on a tangent.

“Hm, we’ll see about that. Don’t think I don’t know about your habit of cheating, missy.”

“Gasp! How’d you find out?!” Kirika seems genuinely shocked to hear that Maria knows.

It makes her laugh. “Oh, darling, you know I have my ways,” she teases.

“But, not even Shirabe knows!”

“I’m pretty sure she does.”

Kirika groans, probably covering her face with both hands. “Now that I know she knows,” she frets, “what am I supposed to do?? What if she knows that I know that she knows? Then she’ll expect me to do something, right? Right???”

Taking a moment to work through that tangle, she replies, “Shirabe won’t be mad, darling—it’s _me_ you have to worry about. Do you remember when I had to strap you down to eat?”

“…Yeah, but you said it was because you couldn’t trust me not to run off and try the spiked punch!”

“Oh, yes, there was that. Tell me Chris isn’t spiking your drinks!”

“No, Chris is a very good chaperone. She’s super careful and she knows, like, tips and tricks to get the most out everything, it’s so cool. She _is_ collecting local wines and beers and stuff that she wants to try out with Genjuurou, though; he should get the first box in the mail soon, but make sure he doesn’t drink it before she gets back!”

“I’ll make sure to tell him, don’t worry. And speaking of getting back, you’re returning by the end of the month still, right?”

More rustling in the background, Kirika’s voice more distant now, and then there’s a new voice on the line: “Maria?”

She claps excitedly, “Shirabe! Oh, it’s so good to hear your voice again!”

“It’s good to hear you, too. I think Kirika misses you the most though—she snuck away from our trip in the bazaar in favor of calling you, it seems.”

“H-Hey! You miss Maria just as much as I do! And, I wanted to see if she got the flowers yet, I couldn’t help myself!”

“Flowers?” she cuts in before they devolve into an argument.

There is dead silence just before Kirika yelps, “I didn’t say anything!”

Shirabe grumbles, “There goes her surprise… surprise, Maria, though I doubt you’ve gotten the flowers yet; they’re supposed to deliver on Friday, your birthday. We just ordered them this morning.”

“Yeah! It’s, like, the _best_ bouquet ever! Me and Shirabe picked out most of ‘em, but Chris added some, too, and she says they have meanings, so—”

 _“Kirika_.”

“Aww, c’mon, Shirabe! Can’t I tell her? Pleeease?”

Covering her mouth so that they don’t hear her laugh, Maria opens up her web browser to find a guide for flower meanings. Of course, she’ll ask Tsubasa later to confirm.

“Maria? Maria, are you still there!” Kirika shouts in panic.

“Yes, I’m still here! Sorry, I got a little distracted.” See? She isn’t the only one to panic (it’s _not_ unreasonable, okay).

“Good! So, it’s a bouquet of thirty-five flowers of all kinds, one for each week we’ve been gone away—because, you know, a bouquet of eight flowers is just too small!”

Shirabe’s exasperated voice interjects, “Kiri….”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” she reassures them. “I love it, and I’ll love it even more when you’re home.”

“We can’t wait to get home, either! There’s _so_ much I want to tell you; like, yesterday we were in Baghdad and I saw this thing that made me think of you, this little—”

“Hey, Maria, is it true you and Tsubasa have found someone to adopt?”

Even Kirika falls silent at that.

She hesitates.

“Shirabe, Kirika… I would rather not say, not yet. Nothing’s set in stone… it’s still pretty early. But, I promise when you come home I’ll tell you everything you want to know—within reason. Okay?”

“Y-yeah, of course!” Kirika answers, probably for the both of them.

“Okay. Then, how about you finish telling me about what you found in Baghdad?”

“Right! So, we were just wandering around in the morning, you know, super early because that’s when everything’s fresh, and….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how some people can talk for hours over the phone? Well, I wouldn't know, lol, but Kirika definitely stayed on line long enough for this to become twice as long as a regular chapter. zeroblackdragon15, I hope this at least partially answers your question of where the other characters are! Some clarification will probably pop up on Saturday.
> 
> I always feel kind of awkward when the writing is mostly dialogue-based, but I think it turned out alright. Please review!


	37. 1.36 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day in the life of Elfnein.

### THIRTY-SIX

A typical Tuesday morning goes like this:

She wakes up at half past seven to the sound of the orphanage’s incredibly-loud church bells (she pities whoever has to wake up early and brave the cold to ring them). Her three roommates wake up, some more easily than others (looking at you, Hazuki), and use the bathroom before her. She doesn’t like being rushed, and it gives her a chance to warm up her clothes beneath her covers. Eventually she joins the exodus of other kids moving towards the grand hall (some of them look and sound like zombies, especially the older ones).

Oatmeal is her go-to meal, and she puts two tablespoons of peanut butter on it and lots of blueberries; sometimes raspberries, if she feels like changing things just a tiny bit. Every couple of weeks, though, she goes for Cheerios (it tastes kind of funny with strawberries, but apparently that’s the recommended serving suggestion, so she’s testing it out… with no conclusive results). Kids chatter all around her, and the matron and staff are at their own table off to the side, also chatting.

After she’s done eating she brushes her teeth, and after that she goes to class (sometimes she’s late to class because she gets distracted looking at her teeth and tongue and gums).

It’s nothing like the scattered homeschooling her Papa gave her and Carol, but it’s… nice, in its own way. She likes the structure, and the homework fills up at least some of her time. She usually doesn’t volunteer for anything, except sometimes she does, but only to feed Peter, the class rabbit. Lessons are pretty easy (when she remembers what they’re about, anyway).

They have lunch at noon. Hers depends on her mood and her meticulous deliberations and whether or not she thinks she’s having a good or bad day, but she does try to have plenty of vegetables (sometimes she likes to take apart salads and eat its components by group), and some fruits, sometimes.

Back in class, she has French (because they only offer that and Italian, which is too hard on her mouth), and she would enjoy it more if the kids around her would stop messing around and if she weren’t so anxious about talking. But, anyway, just as she starts to get too antsy, the bell rings and they have an hour of supervised play before they’re let out for the rest of the day.

What does she do with the rest of her day? Well, usually she takes her latest book to read under her favorite tree, or she works in the garden with Mr. Ren (or without Mr. Ren, when he’s too sick or too tired), or she goes back in to her (shared) room to get homework out of the way.

More or less, that’s how her days usually go.

Except this morning, right after her breakfast of oatmeal, the matron calls her over to the staff table.

“Good mornin’, Elfnein! I know you’ve got class, but would you mind meeting me in my office in a few minutes? It’ll be quick, I swear,” the matron asks her.

Wondering why she’s being summoned to the office this time, she nods her head hesitantly. The matron thanks and dismisses her.

A few minutes later, she finds herself waiting for the matron in the main office. The friendly secretary—the stern one is nowhere around—told her to wait inside, so there she is, sitting across the matron’s huge desk and trying not to fidget.

There’s a coffee shop napkin with some stuff messily scrawled on it, some official-looking papers that she can’t read yet, a bright orange program for a play, and a bus ticket that says ‘Route 36.’

A bus ticket….

She wonders what the outside world is like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at keeping promises, lol.
> 
> Elfnein needs a pet, and I kind of want it to be one of the Autoscorers. Thoughts?
> 
> Please comment! :)


	38. 1.37 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Elfnein shenanigans.

### THIRTY-SEVEN

She ditched class.

They're going to notice pretty soon, but she doesn't have the energy to return to class and concentrate and tolerate the presence of others. She just wants some peace and quiet.

To think.

About her future. It's a sudden change. Something of a bizarre thought.

Here, by the koi pond, watching the fish drift, she can think.

About adoption.

They want to adopt her. Mrs. Maria and Mrs. Tsubasa want to adopt her—she already knows that. In fact, she's more or less made up her mind about what she wants.

Thinking about anything else is… well, kind of pointless, because it’s not like she knows anything about how her future home will look like, or what a typical day in her new life will be like, or even whether she’ll be home-schooled again or sent to a private or public school. There’s a whole bunch of unknowns in the equation and she has so little information; in fact, all she has is her hope that everything will turn out alright.

But, anyway, she’s done enough thinking about that. She’s ditched class—which isn’t something she does at all—so she might as well enjoy herself, right?

…

What do kids usually do when they’ve ditched?

She looks to the koi fish, but they don’t tell her anything. Mr. Ren’s Zen garden tells her even less. All she has with her is her backpack, but that only has her textbooks and notebooks; she planned on doing homework over the recess and lunch, so she doesn’t have _The Vile Village_ to keep her company.

Dipping a few fingers into the cool water of the pond, she wonders what she should do with her temporary freedom.

Her mind is totally blank.

She really has no idea what she can do.

She takes out her handkerchief to dry her hand, but the quarter she found a few days ago tumbles out, plopping straight into the water.

By the time she reaches out for it, the quarter’s already sunk to the bottom of the bond; since the water is pretty clear, she can see it winking at her, reflecting the light of the sun. Well… now she has something to do….

She can hold her breath for about thirty-seven seconds, and that should be enough time to get her coin back, right?

Okay, then. Shoes and socks off, and… should she take off her shorts? Her shirt?

Eh, it’s fine. They don’t weigh much, and the pond isn’t deep at all. She’ll just sneak in the back door to change her clothes later.

Taking a deep breath, she inches her toes over the edge of the pond. The smooth stones ringing it are cool, and then the water is cool, too, but it’s nothing she can’t take.

Until she sits down on the stones and immerses her legs all the way up to her knees. Gasping at the cold of the water, she pauses. Does she really have to go after it? It’s not like the coin is anything special to her.

But, she likes to think that she’s not the type to give up, so she pushes forward; pretty soon, her entire body is underwater, though if she stretches on her tiptoes, her eyes can just barely clear the water.

A few more inches and she could actually breathe, but whatever.

Quickly, to get out of the _freezing_ pond, she scoops up her quarter. The koi fish are grouped together on the other side of the pond; they’re probably afraid of the intruder in their pond.

She heaves in a great breath when she launches herself out of the pond. Woo, she made it!

Grinning, she flops down on the grass to revel in her little adventure before she goes inside to change her clothes—which she will do very soon, because somehow she’s even colder out of the water than she was in the water.

(Later, the matron demands to know who tracked water and mud all over the backdoor. She pretends to be very interested in her mashed potatoes.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psst. Also. I sometimes write original vignette-like things. I guess I'd be willing to take on a few prompts for Symphogear, Madoka Magica, and RWBY, too. 
> 
> Find me at **teddy-tries-writing.tumblr.com**
> 
> BUT WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT is that you please review and recommend this fic to your friends if you really like it ^_^


	39. 1.38 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's in a family?

### THIRTY-EIGHT

“Kirika and Shirabe called today,” Maria mentions as she brushes her hair.

Groaning, she answers, “Our next phone bill will be sky-high.”

Maria glares at her through the mirror, protesting, “We’re not that bad! Besides, it was a Skype call.”

“Is that so?” She turns away to search for pen and paper. “Maria, do you remember where I left my notepad?”

“The one for work? It’s in the top drawer of your night table.”

She checks, and sure enough, there it is. “Thank you,” she says, though her mind is already going through the cases she archived today. She flips to the last page, adding another entry: _#38, Izak Malus Dienheim_. She glances through the rest of the names on the list, crossing the resolved ones out.

“And how are the two terrors?” she asks once she’s finished.

“ _Kirika and Shirabe_ ,” Maria corrects her, “are doing well. Chris was out, but Kirika asked me to tell you that Chris is doing just fine.”

She leans against the headboard, watching Maria brush her hair meticulously. “Good,” she says. “They will be home in a few weeks, correct?”

Maria inclines her head. “You know, they ordered a bouquet of flowers for me.” She giggles, smiling a smile that only Kirika and Shirabe can draw out. “Apparently Chris knows a lot about flower meanings. I looked for a guide on the internet, but that’s redundant, isn’t it, when I have my own guide with me already,” Maria teases, eyes laughing at her through the mirror.

“Yukine is a person of many interests,” she says. She opens her arms invitingly, “Join me?”

Maria runs her brush through her hair one last time before doing so. She stops to turn off the lights, then clambers into the bed.

Knowing how clumsy her wife is, she shifts closer to the opposite edge, and narrowly avoids being elbowed in the stomach. Maria’s hand fumbles in the dark; she reaches out to tug her closer, closer until Maria is pressed flush against her.

She breathes in the scent of Maria’s hair and tightens her arm around Maria’s waist.

“Don’t complain if you wake up with a mouthful of hair,” Maria warns her.

“As long as it is _your_ hair, I do not mind.”

Maria laughs, filling up the darkened room with her joy.

“I am glad they called,” she murmurs into Maria’s bare shoulder.

Maria hums. “You miss them too, don’t you?” Maria asks.

“While I do not necessarily miss their antics—your sisters definitely frighten away dull days—I do miss _them_ , and Yukine.”

“Is it just me,” Maria muses, “or is it weird to call them my sisters? I mean, they’re together romantically… does that count as incest?”

She rolls her eyes, though Maria cannot see. “Go to sleep before you start spouting even more nonsense,” she says, resisting the urge to laugh.

Maria twists in her arms to face her, chuckling, “That _does_ sound weird, doesn’t it? don’t know where my mind goes sometimes.

“Family’s family; even if we can’t concretely define our relationships to each other, all that matters is that we consider each other family.”

Tucking Maria’s head under her chin, she grumbles, “I worry for you, dear. But yes… we are one big, troublesome family.”

“Hm. That’s—” Maria yawns—“mean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, the Tsubasa chapter giving a teeny-tiny bit more explanation. Just to be clear, though: Kirika and Shirabe have no blood relation to each other, nor to Maria; it's basically like in the show, where they're a family unit, with Maria being like an older sister/mom figure to the other two. I just... somehow failed to convey that in the chapter. Anyway.
> 
> Please review!


	40. 1.39 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traffic, dinner, and good news.

### THIRTY-NINE

She's stuck in traffic. At first, they'd been at least going thirty-nine miles an hour, but then, just a few stops before her street, traffic had stalled ridiculously.

Glancing at the dashboard, she sighs in resignation. Even getting out of traffic to take the streets is going to take more time than it should.

She sends a quick text to Tsubasa, 'Stuck in traffic. Will be late home.'

'Be safe.'

'I will,' she replies. 

Once that is taken care of, she turns up the radio to fill in the silence. As she sings along, she drums her fingers against the wheel and bobs along to the beat.

Eventually she reaches her exit, and from there it's only a few more minutes before she arrives home.

Pulling into the parking garage of their apartment complex, she notes that Tsubasa's car is in its usual stall; she parks right beside it.

The smell of freshly-made curry hits her as soon as she steps into their apartment. She goes straight to the kitchen, following her nose. Tsubasa is sitting at the kitchen island, looking through the newspaper; she’s wearing her glasses.

“Mm, something spicy today?” she notes, wrapping Tsubasa in a tight hug.

Nodding, Tsubasa says, “I thought we needed something a little different. The recipe was pretty easy to follow.”

She smirks. “You mean the instructions on the _box_ were easy to follow,” she teases. “Don’t think I didn’t see the box of curry cubes in the trash, darling.”

Tsubasa chuckles.

Checking in on the pot, she sees that it’s almost finished, so she starts pulling out plates and utensils.

“Rice is ready, as well,” Tsubasa says.

When they sit down to eat a few minutes later, Tsubasa begins fidgeting. She takes longer than usual with each bite of food, and she nods just a bit too jerkily whenever Maria asks her a question, though her shoulders aren’t tense.

Finally, near the end of the meal, Tsubasa gestures to the pile of mail that’s left on the island, saying, “We have some… news from the orphanage.” She clears her throat, glancing away, but she can’t quite stop her lips from quirking up in a smile.

“Good news?” she asks, just to be sure.

Tsubasa nods.

“Tell me.”

“Well,” Tsubasa grins, “we have official sanction to take Elfnein out of the institution for a day trip.”

She launches out of her seat to grab at the mail—not that she doesn’t believe Tsubasa, it’s just that she wants to see it for herself.

And, sure enough, there it is, to Mrs. Maria Cadenzavna Eva and Mrs. Tsubasa Kazanari, permission to take Elfnein Malus Dienheim for an “excursion to the city so long as an itinerary is given to and approved by Matron Xiao Long.”

Tsubasa comes up next to her, bumping their shoulders together. “I bet you have half our day planned out already,” she says.

“I’ll have our _entire_ trip planned as soon as you get me paper and pencil!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review!


	41. 1.40 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elfnein thinks about where her life's headed.

### FORTY

She’s not sure how adoption works.

None of the books in the library, as far as she knows, talk about it. Well, the law encyclopedia probably does—but that’s, like, _forty_ volumes of tiny letters and Latin words that are way above her understanding.

But, she’s had plenty of time to observe. Sometimes, for example, she hears the staff talk about home inspections and interviews and snobbish people. So, she knows the adults have to pass a bunch of tests before they’re allowed to move on to the next step; she’s not sure how long that takes, but it’s probably like a month? Maybe more? Maybe less?

The kid part—now _that_ she knows a lot more about, because it’s the most exciting thing that ever happens around here, besides class field trips. Sometimes the adults already have someone in mind, or they really want a baby, but most of the time they’re unsure. That’s when they come to recess.

Honestly, she feels a little like a zoo animal whenever the adults watch, but she mostly escapes their notice, so it doesn’t matter.

Some adoptions happen pretty fast, like Ken’s. He only knew his potential parents for a week before he left with them. Others, though, take a while. That’s when the matron and the board give the adults “permission to interact with Schnee Orphanage wards in a more private setting.” Or, in other words, the kids and adults get to hang out basically whenever they want so that they can get to know each other.

Anyway, that’s pretty much where her life is.

Right _now_ , though, she’s really bored. Detention is boring. She actually finished her book half an hour ago, and now she’s stuck staring out the window at the darkening sky.

There’s only one other kid in detention—Cocoa, and that’s because she fell asleep in class again.

She’s getting adopted. There’s no way around it. She kind of wishes they’d get it over with already so that she can move on from this weird in-between phase.

But, on the other hand… she’s kind of terrified.

There’s a whole big world out there—she knows that really, _really_ well. But here, she’s safe, sheltered from all the evils and tragedies and everything that would upset her stable equilibrium.

However… she can’t stay here forever. She’s already getting tired of this remote little island.

“Oi, brats!” Mr. Levi barks. “Detention’s over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe we're at #40 already? I'm thinking of getting Elfnein adopted by #60, so twenty days from today, possibly less if I do double chapters every now and then. 
> 
> Maybe. I dunno, I just have three separate stories I want to write for Symphogear, and I wish I could write them all, but. But I have school.


	42. 1.41 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's kind of funny, how packed our lives have suddenly gotten."

### FORTY-ONE

“Okay, so we agree for certain that we’re not bringing lunch, we’ll just stop by wherever we feel like?” Maria taps her pencil against the paper, frowning. “In that case, we should allow more time for that, because of traffic and who knows about how long the wait lines are, since it’s right at noon—unless you think we should eat earlier? Brunch actually sounds like a good idea, now that I think about it….”

She is just about to interject, but Maria beats her to the punch.

“That gives her a chance to sleep in, and we can use the extra time in the morning to talk with the matron—oh! Or we could eat out for _both_ meals, breakfast and lunch, and then have her back before dinner time. There’s a really nice café by the museum… unless she would rather eat at home…?”

Rolling her eyes, she nabs Maria’s soup; she is pretty hungry today after sparring with Genjuurou, and if Maria’s not going to eat, then why let it go to waste?

Except, of course, Maria notices.

“Hey!”

She dunks her sandwich in the soup, smirking at Maria, who scowls indignantly at her.

“You were saying, dear?” she prompts, gesturing for Maria to continue.

Maria shakes her head, saying, “You owe me lunch now.”

“How about I make it up to you on your birthday?” She takes a bite of her sandwich and winks at Maria.

“Oh! That’s right, my birthday! I completely forgot.” And Maria completely disregards the last few minutes of their exchange.

It is just as well, however, since Maria needed to slow down a little.

“Indeed,” she says, “though I hope you _do_ remember that this year we have… more guests than usual.”

Maria blanches. “Tell me your entire family isn’t coming,” she asks fearfully.

She cannot lie; Maria, seeing this, buries her head in her arms, wailing, “ _Nooooo_.”

Leaning forward, she pats Maria’s soft hair. “Don’t worry,” she tries to reassure her, “the guest list only numbers forty-one,” Maria wails even louder, “and that is including your numerous college friends, several colleagues, and our family’s friends. The clan is only… about three-fifths the total.”

“That’s still three-fifths too many! And I can’t believe there are going to be so many people coming to the party….” Maria raises her head to look at Tsubasa. “Are you sure _you_ will be okay?”

She shrugs. “Probably.”

Maria sighs. “This Saturday, huh?”


	43. 1.42 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria's birthday party, ft. miscellaneous guests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time skip to Saturday.

### FORTY-TWO

“Good evening, Maria. Happy birthday,” Miku greets her while Hibiki is almost overwhelmed by the number of Kazanari in the hall—her wide eyes are a definite tell.

Maria would like to commiserate, but then she’d end up antagonizing pretty much everyone on Tsubasa’s side of the family… which _isn’t_ something she wants to do, thank you very much.

Shaking their hands, she says, “Welcome! Thank you for coming.”

Hibiki holds up the box in her hands, teasing, “You know you’re just in this for the presents.” She even shakes it a little, and whatever is in the box rattles. “And if _I_ had a ton of relatives, I’d totally be the same, too!”

“Hibiki,” Miku chastises.

“It’s fine,” Maria winks, “just set your gift down at the table over there, where Tsubasa is. Dinner will start in a few minutes.”

Miku smiles, and as she passes by she murmurs, “You’re doing wonderfully, Maria.”

The reassurance from Miku reinvigorates her enough to endure the next few people, and, right when she’s beginning to tire again, one of her favorite of Tsubasa’s family comes in with her own wife—and the _most. Adorable. Baby. Ever_.

“Oh, aren’t you the _cutest!_ ” she squeals, clapping her hands. Turning back to the parents, she begs, “Can I hold her?”

Unfortunately, Tokaku only eyes her suspiciously, her body shifting slightly in front of Haru and the baby.

“Play nice, Tokaku,” Haru coaxes her wife, while Maria continues to look pleadingly at Tokaku.

Rolling her eyes, Tokaku mutters, “Fine.” She steps aside to let Maria come closer.

“We named her Madoka, and she’s forty-two weeks old and she _loves_ to talk and her teeth are starting to grow in—it makes her very tired, that’s why she’s asleep right now, and hopefully she’ll stay asleep for most of the party, but for the most part she’s very well-behaved,” Haru gushes, and Maria nods along eagerly at each piece of information.

Behind Haru, Tokaku rolls her eyes, but doesn’t stop from assessing everyone and everything in the dining hall. She does, however, take a moment to glare warningly at Maria when Haru transfers the baby to Maria’s arms.

The baby, Madoka, remains fast asleep despite her mother’s excitement and the general hubbub of the other guests; which is probably for the best, if she’s teething. Her soft pink hair looks so _fluffy_ on her head, and her chubby face looks so peaceful. It looks like she has most of Haru’s features.

Cooing over Madoka, she doesn’t realize that a line has formed behind the couple until Tokaku grits out, “Where do we leave the present?”

“Oh!” She straightens up, glancing sheepishly at the guests waiting more-or-less patiently, and points, “Over there, where Tsubasa’s standing. Dinner will be in a few minutes, but in the meantime, help yourselves to refreshments!” She regretfully returns Madoka to Haru.

Haru beams, once again cradling her daughter, “Thank you! And happy birthday, Maria!”

Maria’s still kind of suffused with the delight of holding a baby in her arms by the time she’s done greeting all the guests—something that Tsubasa brings up as they meet up at the main table.

“Why is it “forty-tw0 weeks” instead of ten months?” she murmurs. “And _you_ look very pleased.”

She shrugs at the question and replies, “Madoka is an _angel_.”

Tsubasa interjects, a hint of fear in her voice, “I hope you do not plan on giving Elfnein siblings any time soon.”

“Oh, we’ll see about that~”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heheh, let's just say the Kazanari family is an offshoot of the Azumas -shrugs.-
> 
> Also, itty-bitty, minute appearance of Miku. Whelp. She... probably won't get much screen time. But, that's why I'm writing a whole different story that looks at Miku through Hibiki's [unreliable narrator] eyes, and an HP AU that features Miku through Carol's [unreliable narrator] eyes, too! Unfortunately... neither is likely to be published any time soon, lol.
> 
> Find me at teddy-tries-writing.tumblr.com!
> 
> P.S. Please review!


	44. 1.43 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vague parenting advice from a tired father, ft. Mr. Kazanari.

### FORTY-THREE

After dinner, her father succeeds in cornering her. He leads her to the refreshments table, out of earshot of those mingling about the hall.

He takes his time refilling his glass, and she takes the opportunity to look for Maria.

Finding her conversing with some of the older aunts, she wishes it were as easy for her as it is for Maria. Maria, despite having been uneasy about seeing the extended Kazanari family, looks quite at ease. It is not entirely a mask; her smiles are genuine.

Maria adapts so easily.

That is to say, Maria does not resist so much.

“Do you think—” she stops abruptly, realizing that she had been about to ask her father about _parenting_ advice. Flummoxed, she clears her throat, attempting to backtrack, “What do you think of the celebration?”

She grimaces at the inane question, but it will have to do.

He takes a sip of his drink before answering.

“I was forty-three when you were born. I was in between—not young enough to be flexible, nor old enough to be understanding. Perhaps that was my mistake,” he says, and he does not look at her, but rather across the hall, where Maria is now bouncing a cheerful baby in her arms.

Neither of them is good at talking about elephants in rooms—it is the only excuse she has for busying herself with serving another drink.

But he knows she listens. “It is a typical question,” he muses, “nearly a rite of passage, I would say. Perhaps, if you ask yourself this question, it automatically implies that you will be a good parent, whatever that may entail.” He sighs, and his eyes nearly drift shut.

Today, he is old. Old enough to be understanding.

“Good intentions… and love, do not a good parent make.”

Precisely what she has feared. She stares at the red wine in her glass; she sees her face, so anxious and fearful and already regretting what she will inevitably do in the future.

“It is, however, a good start,” her father continues. “The rest?” He shrugs. “Do not make the same mistakes. You know what I did… and what I did not do. Listen to your daughter—and let her know that yes, you hear her.”

He begins to walk away; she knows that is all he can tell her.

“Father,” she calls, and he turns to her. “I am glad to call you such.”

He smiles a smile she has not seen since she was a very little girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more Mr. Kazanari (does he have a first name?) and typical new-parent angst. It comes and goes, y'know?


	45. 1.44 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ah, who needs sleep?"

### FORTY-FOUR

When she wakes up, the flashlight is still on and the hardcover of her book is digging into her side. The heavy snoring from her roommates tells her that it’s probably still night.

She carefully pokes her head out of her cocoon of blankets, grimacing at the wave of cold air that hits her face, to check the time.

It’s just a little past midnight. Tomorrow’s Sunday, which means she has to get up early for morning mass, but she doesn’t pay much attention anyway, so she might as well finish the forty-four pages she has left, right? It won’t take long, probably, and she can doze a little during mass to make up for it.

And so she settles back into her nest, propping up the book sideways and positioning the flashlight beneath it. It’s at times like these that she’s thankful she doesn’t need glasses like Carol and Papa; she’d end up breaking them for sure.

Just a few minutes later, though, she finds herself yawning again.

Part of her wants to power through to finish the book, because then she’ll be one step closer to finding out whether or not the Baudelaires get a happy ending (though she has a sinking suspicion that they won’t), but another part of her wants to really savor the story, and yet another part reminds her that she hasn’t had a full night’s worth of sleep since Wednesday.

When she puts it _that_ way… well, she _is_ rather sleepy.

So she turns of the flashlight, puts it and the book beneath her pillow, and resettles herself, this time with the intent of sleeping. Tonight she’s definitely tired enough to sleep through the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm alive! This chapter is basically a metaphor for my return to this story, actually, lol.
> 
> So sorry for disappearing unannounced. I meant to update after #43, I honestly did, but school snuck up on me. I've had a rough month of it, but happily the quarter's over and I've the next three weeks to recuperate ^^ If you follow any of my other works or me on tumblr, you might've noticed that I actually did write, just not for this story -- that's because my muse tends to go off on a darker tone when I'm stressed and anxious, which wasn't at all conducive for this particular story. So, I refrained from writing "Counting Stars" until I returned to a saner headspace.
> 
> Anyway, I fully intend to return to daily updates from now until at least the beginning of January, and hopefully continue throughout winter quarter.
> 
> Thank you to guest for the concern!


	46. 1.45 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile, Tsubasa and Maria have a very late-night conversation, rehashing a few things.

### FORTY-FIVE

It is forty-five past midnight when they arrive home at last.

Well, _she_ arrives— _Maria_ , on the other hand, stumbles along, clinging to Tsubasa’s arm and giggling quietly. Someone undoubtedly spiked the punch, of which Maria partook a little _too_ much; she will have to scold Genjuurou for this tomorrow.

Rather, later today.

She sights, though Maria mistakes it for a shushing command and clamps her hand over her mouth, looking quite adamant about it.it makes Tsubasa smile despite herself.

As soon as they enter their apartment, however, Maria kicks off her heels, discards her coat in the general direction of the coat rack, and throws herself onto the couch with a gratified laugh.

“I do hope you will not wake tomorrow with a hangover,” she remarks as she tidies up the mess Maria left behind. If it were her own things, she would leave them, but Maria (when sober) insists on having everything as orderly as possible. Besides, Elfnein is still at that age where children mimic their role models, so she has to set a good example.

Unfortunately, she tarries too long in her thoughts, for when she returns to Maria’s side, she finds her wife sound asleep.

She brushes the tips of her fingers along Maria’s smiling mouth, murmuring, “You are _such_ a handful when you are intoxicated. Now I have to carry you all the way to our bedroom, where you will make it as difficult as possible to get you changed into more comfortable clothes.”

But she does not mind. For Maria, she would move the sun and the moon. For Maria, she would die.

“Hold your horses there,” she mutters to herself as she carries Maria, bridal-style, to their bed. “No need to be so morbid.”

Maria grumbles when Tsubasa shakes her awake, but she does put in an effort to put on her pajamas.

“Tsubasa,” Maria manages to say, blinking in an effort to stay awake.

“Shh.” She has to use all her concentration to unravel the pins in Maria’s hair—it would be quite _bad_ if she were to pull on the hair or accidentally leave some in. She honestly still cannot grasp why Maria likes these things so much.

“Tsu-ba-sa,” Maria intones, almost scolding, “that’s not nice.”

Rolling her eyes, she replies, “Pardon me.”

Maria sighs—strangely wistful.

“Are you… something on your mind, Maria?” she asks, studying Maria’s sleepy expression as she runs a brush through Maria’s hair a few times to smooth it out.

“I dunno,” Maria leans into the touch, “jus’ sorta… I dunno.” Her eyes close again; just before she falls asleep, Maria mumbles, “We’re gonna be parents.”

She tucks Maria into bed. After she switches off the lights, she slips in beside Maria and whispers, “Yes, we are. Soon.”


	47. 1.46 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's the next stage in our lives."

### FORTY-SIX

She knows her job is one of the worst in the world for someone with family—for someone with family _outside_ of the Second Division.

Up until now, however, she hasn’t had to worry about that, since all of her (living) family is indeed in the Second Division. Plus, they’re all adults who make their own choices. If someone dies in the line of duty, well… the survivors understand.

But when she and Tsubasa decided to start a family of their own, they knew from the very beginning that they would have to leave the field, the realm of active duty.

For the most part, she’s okay with this decision. She doesn’t burn with the need for adrenaline-pumping action, and saving the world doesn’t have to be on the grand stakes they’ve been working with for years now. And, well, she used to dream about the quiet life, back when Serena still lived.

As for Tsubasa—Tsubasa has never known anything outside of duty. It makes her angry, angry at Tsubasa’s father (both of them), but more than that it makes her want to show Tsubasa how _good_ family is meant to be.

Last, but definitely not least, neither of them want to risk leaving Elfnein (their _daughter_ , soon) behind. It’s an all-too-real risk.

That’s what she tells Genjuurou when he asks, “Are you certain?”

He’s known for a while now that they planned on leaving the Second Division, both of them.

“I can’t persuade you to take on support positions?” he asks nonetheless. He had already asked, months ago when they told him and Tsubasa’s father that they were planning to adopt. Her answer hasn’t changed, but he tries anyway.

She shakes her head, “No. Support positions aren’t free from danger, you know. In fact, I’d say their job is even riskier, and I admire Ogawa, Tomosato, and Fujitaka for their brave work—but it’s just not for Tsubasa and me.”

“Then we’re sad to see you go,” Genjuurou sighs, “though I wish you happiness and peace with your family.”

They rise, shake hands, and he walks her out.

Outside the compound, she takes the time to look around the Second Division’s headquarters.

“You know, I’m glad you’re leaving,” Genjuurou says, crossing his arms and looking broodingly at the grounds. “None of you were meant for this. It’s high time you left.”

In response, she tells him, “When I married Tsubasa, she admitted that she had expected to be like you—forty-six years of service to her name and nothing else. Not in a bad way, of course. You’re her role model, even now. But I was clear from the start that we were going to raise a family.

“Now… now she’s finally ready, and I’m going to show her the world.”

He smiles tenderly; she knows she sounds a little cliché, maybe too poetic, but it’s true.

Genjuurou opens his arms, then, inviting her, “Give me a hug, Maria.”

So she does.

Tomorrow she’ll have the day free to be with Tsubasa and Elfnein for a trip around the city, and the day after she’ll start her new job. It’s all coming together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fyi, there's a time skip in between this chap and the previous of a few days. I'm not very good with keeping timelines straight in my head, but let's say it's been like three or so weeks since they met Elfnein - that sounds about right...


	48. 1.47 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria reminisces.

### FORTY-SEVEN

“I’m home,” she calls out softly, though she knows that Tsubasa is still at work.

The thought makes her pause. She looks around their apartment, because apparently today is a day of reflecting on the past, on every moment that she and Tsubasa have shared here.

Such as the coat rack, with its assortment of coats and scarves and hats: she remembers that when they first moved in, before they got engaged, Tsubasa had a habit of simply tossing everything on the nearest sofa. Even when Maria had gotten them a proper coat rack, Tsubasa kept forgetting—it took her _ages_ to slow down long enough to put things away in an orderly fashion.

And the furniture itself: floral patterns that they had picked out together one day after Maria had accidentally spilled curry on an antique loveseat that Tsubasa’s father had gifted them. She remembers panicking, though luckily Tsubasa managed to get the stain out, and then they bought a plastic cover for it as well as a whole new set of couches and armchairs.

The fold-out bed in their new couch actually helped a lot when they had Kirika and Shirabe over, since the apartment only had one bedroom. She especially loved the mornings when she would come out and find the two curled up together, with Shirabe hogging the blankets.

On the other hand, the coffee table, also a present from Mr. Kazanari, has survived many a tussle and accident. There are some scratches, but they’re nearly invisible against the shiny gloss of the wood, and Tsubasa’s love of doilies has helped quite a lot.

Practically every inch of their home has fond memories—and some not-so-happy ones, of course—and it makes her a little sad to have to leave this apartment.

But, she’s been to the Kazanari estate, and she has to say that she likes it, with its old Japanese architecture and open air atmosphere. She knows it’s the perfect place to raise a well-rounded child ( _children_ , though that’s farther in the future).

It’s the only concession that Tsubasa made to her family, that she would return to the estate to raise her own children, though it isn’t much of a compromise because it works out so perfectly for them.

There’s a kind of poetry in the fact that the space that had made Tsubasa so lonely as a child will become the playground for the next generation. They’ll supplement all those bad memories with new ones.

However, moving day is still weeks away, and she hasn’t even begun at her new job yet.

“Which reminds me,” she says aloud, “I need to double-check the directions for the academy.”

She leaves the living room for the office-turned-nursery-turned-office-again (she’s never going to let herself live that down), where she had put the printouts on the desk.

Rifling through them, she finds the map in between her class schedule and a note from the headmistress.

Lydian Music Academy is only a few minutes away from their apartment, but it’s forty-seven minutes away from the estate, though that time is halved if she takes the train.

It’s been a while since she last sang, but she’s eager to be an assistant choir teacher at Tsubasa’s old school. Who knows? Maybe she’ll inspire budding young artists to pursue careers in music—as noble a path as all others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I mentioned that I love introspection? Heh. 
> 
> I was thinking of maybe doing a flashback chapter with Elfnein and Carol, if anyone's interested in that? I love doing the whole future-past thing, but I dunno if people would find it too confusing or abrupt.... Maybe I'll write it but post it on tumblr only til I figure out where/when to stick it in.
> 
> Anyway, please comment! ^^


	49. 1.48 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day out in the city; ordering food is actually pretty hard.

### FORTY-EIGHT

Most of her life has been spent in the countryside, hopping from one little town to the next.

It’s no wonder, then, that the city—even one of a moderate size as this—takes her breath away. It almost intimidates her, with its tall buildings, all shiny colored glass and precisely laid out along the street; they dwarf her, casting long shadows that overlap and block out the sun. Squirreled away between the big buildings are smaller ones, less intimidating, but more worn—they awe her, too, because a lot more people come and go from them.

And the people!

So many, from all sorts of lives, walk along the sidewalk, and others pile into buses, and still more zip along in cars.

Well, cities aren’t entirely alien to her, but this is the first time she’s had the leisure (the peace of mind) to take in everything.

But nervousness flutters in her chest, so she keeps a tight grip on Mrs. Maria’s hand, who thankfully doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, Mrs. Maria looks over-the-moon happy; she happily points out side-streets and rattles off so much information that honestly goes over Elfnein’s head. It’s nice, though.

Although she stays silent, Mrs. Tsubasa keeps a light hand on Elfnein’s shoulder. That’s nice, too.

They slow down even further when they come to a row of restaurants and cafés. Mrs. Maria says, “Is there anything in particular you feel like eating?” She gestures around, pointing out a few in particular that she recommends.

She instinctively shies away from the more-crowded places, and looks around for something to catch her eye—she gravitates towards the cafés, which have splendid displays of desserts. At this time of year, it’s mostly pumpkin-themed recipes that dominate the menus, but eventually she spots a café that boasts a variety of French sandwiches and other French cuisine.

Glancing at Mrs. Maria and Mrs. Tsubasa, she waffles over how to tell them that she’s decided where to eat. Well, the obvious and most-direct way is to simply say so, but that she finds that her voice fails her whenever she wants to initiate conversation with Mrs. Maria and Mrs. Tsubasa.

Luckily Mrs. Maria has a keen eye, for she catches Elfnein leaning towards the French café; she claps her hands and suggests, “L’Escargot, hm? Sounds like a good choice!”

“I believe we went there once with Maria’s sisters,” Mrs. Tsubasa thinks aloud, studying the building as they approach.

That makes Elfnein curious enough to ask, “Mrs. Maria has sisters?”

“Yes,” Mrs. Tsubasa nods, “though they are traveling with a friend at the moment.”

She wants to ask more, but if there’s anything she’s learned about playing the “getting to know you” game, it’s that these kinds of questions are a two-way street. If she asks about their family and relations, _they_ will ask about _hers_ , too.

Choosing to let the matter drop, then, she stays silent until they are seated at one of the indoor tables by a window.

When she looks through the menu, she tries to sound out the French words under her breath, though she doubts she has the pronunciation anywhere nearwhat it should be.

“ _Des gaufres_ ,” Mrs. Maria enunciates for her. At Elfnein’s startled look, she adds, “I picked up some French back when I… when I traveled to Europe.”

“Oh.”

A waitress comes by their table, pen poised on a notepad, “Can I take your orders?”

Mrs. Tsubasa goes first, ordering, “May I have a number forty-eight, but with extra whipped cream, please? And a cup of green tea, please.”

Elfnein checks the menu: #48 is a red-and-black crêpe.

“Sure thing.”

Mrs. Maria orders a spinach quiche and a black coffee, not stumbling once over the French, and then it’s Elfnein’s turn.

“Um, m-may I… have… a—Belgian waffles, please? A-and, um, orange juice, please.” There. Minimal stuttering, if she does say so herself.

The waitress nods, jotting everything down. “Coming right up.”

Mrs. Tsubasa murmurs, “Ordering can be quite the challenge. I still have difficulty, myself.”

“But you’re so cool,” she replies, then flushes red when she realizes what it is she’s just said.

She called Mrs. Tsubasa _cool_.

Across from them, Mrs. Maria giggles. “You two look so adorable together,” she says, “with your matching blushes. Can I take a picture? Please?”

Even redder, Mrs. Tsubasa glances at Elfnein, shrugging sheepishly. For her part, Elfnein fiddles with her hands, thinking that steam must be coming out of her ears, but she nods shyly.

More than one picture later, their drinks arrive; she is more than relieved to be able to hide her face behind her glass of orange juice—and it looks like Mrs. Tsubasa is, too.

It isn’t so bad.

In fact… it’s kind of nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review! ^^


	50. 1.49 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The city, part two.

### FORTY-NINE

“There’s an aquarium nearby that we’d like to go to, if you want, Elfnein,” Maria says as they step out of the café.

Elfnein perks up at that, nodding eagerly.

Knowing that Maria wanted them to take the car to the aquarium, which is a couple blocks away, Tsubasa begins to guide them to where they parked the car. However, as they wait at a crosswalk, a double-decker bus passes by in front of them—it gives her an idea.

“Have you ever ridden a double-decker bus, Elfnein?” she asks, nodding her head at the one that has stopped for its passengers.

Twitching slightly upon being addressed, Elfnein takes a moment to respond, “No….” Her gaze is focused on the bus, which has resumed its course away from them. “I… I would like to,” she says, glancing up at Tsubasa briefly, “if—if it’s okay….”

Smiling, Maria looks at Tsubasa in approval. “Of course it’s okay, darling,” she reassures the child, taking her hand once again while they cross the street. Once they reach the opposite side, Maria pulls out her phone.

“Let’s see… we can take bus route 49, east, from here to just past the aquarium.”

And so they wait at the nearest bus stop for a few minutes; when the next bus arrives, she notes with relief that there are few people on the upper level.

Maria pays for all of them, letting Tsubasa and Elfnein go ahead to choose seats.

It surprises Tsubasa that Elfnein goes directly to the railing. “You are not afraid of heights?” she asks, taking a seat on the bench.

“No,” Elfnein shakes her head, entranced by the view afforded by their standpoint, “I like it…. I’ve been on hot air balloons before. I really like how small everything looks from way up high.”

Distracted, Tsubasa notes, Elfnein appears to let her words flow more freely.

Maria joins them; they sit in silence for the most part, letting Elfnein look around to her heart’s content—though Maria keeps a firm grip on Tsubasa’s hand.

“Are you scared she’ll fall?” she murmurs.

“Just a bit,” Maria admits, and Tsubasa laughs lowly.

That makes Elfnein glance back at them, a small smile on her face. Maria squeezes Tsubasa’s hand a little more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better late than never! and it's still 12/16 for another hour here :P


	51. 1.50 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elfnein's interests are rather extensive.

### FIFTY

On and on their tour guide drones as he leads them through the aquarium, but mostly she’s interested in the actual fishes than whatever he’s saying; the plaque cards give _much_ more information.

She has to rein in her enthusiasm, though, so that she doesn’t leave Mrs. Tsubasa and Mrs. Maria behind, especially since Mrs. Tsubasa has kept her hand on her shoulder all throughout, just as she had done earlier—it’s comforting, really, but it also makes her a bit anxious.

(Emotions can be _so_ troublesome and contradictory.)

A wiggly-looking octopus waves a tentacle at her, half-blending into the coral behind it, and a clown fish flits in and out of an anemone right next to the octopus. It takes her by surprise, that they live so close yet don’t disturb each other. Then again, the aquarium probably makes sure the octopus is fed other stuff—or maybe they replace the fish…?

Tilting her head to try to catch a glimpse of the octopus’s beak, she overhears, “We have over fifty exhibits here, from all regions of the world!” She wonders why the tour guide is still going on about that, when they’re well-into the tour.

Eventually they arrive at the shark tanks, and she becomes practically glued to the glass.

Huge creatures, with huge teeth and huge heads and huge fins and probably a huge appetite, too, but not for humans. She finds it funny that the great white shark goes around with its mouth open, and the hammerhead definitely makes her smile. Then there are the smaller sharks, like the nurse shark that nearly blends into the sand below, and baby sharks, too!

Later, she’s going to ask Mrs. Tsubasa and Mrs. Maria to let her have a shark stuffed animal. She just has to gather the courage, first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooo, fifty chapters!!! I'm sorry it's so short, but I'm at a friend's house and, like, yeah. I'll get around to writing a long chapter... soon. In fact, if anyone has ideas or whatever that they want to see incorporated in the story, please do tell me ^^
> 
> Thank you to those who have commented on the last couple of chapters; I haven't replied, and I probably won't remember to get around to doing it, but thank you so much!


	52. 1.51 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fledgling family.

### FIFTY-ONE 

Frankly, it bothers her that Elfnein’s smile remains a touch uncertain, as if the slightest breeze would topple it; it is something that she does not know how to rectify. She has never been one for overindulging, or for spoiling others, but she would buy the entire gift shop if it meant Elfnein would always smile freely, like the child she is and _should_ be.

As it is, however, she contents herself with getting for the child only the 51 centimeter-long great white shark plush—even if the choice of toy is somewhat… unconventional, it makes Elfnein quite happy.

“Thank you,” Elfnein almost whispers, hiding her face behind the plush.

She is not sure what to say, so she looks to Maria, who is already moving towards Elfnein.

“We’ll call it an early Christmas present… or a late one, perhaps?” Maria says as she runs her hand lightly over Elfnein’s forelocks—hesitant, for a reason that Tsubasa does not see but Maria evidently does.

“Okay,” comes the lackluster response, though Elfnein leans into Maria’s touch; Tsubasa is missing something here, but it would be disrespectful of her to ask.

(Later, in the shelter of their bedroom, Maria tells her of the first Christmas she spent without her sister—of how Nastassja helped her cope with the profound hole left in the wake of Serena’s death. It is something that Maria can and will give Elfnein.)

They pay for their items—Maria particularly insistent on buying a calendar for the upcoming year that depicts a variety of sea life—and then, once they are outside, Tsubasa takes a few minutes to check in with the matron.

“Yes,” she assures the matron, “Elfnein is fine…. We are at the city aquarium, currently—ah, we bought her a gift… yes… thank you…. Yes, of course.” She lowers her cell and gestures to Elfnein to take it.

Elfnein gives monosyllabic responses to the matron’s questions, but she seems content.

While Elfnein is occupied, Maria takes the opportunity to ask, “Everything alright, Tsubasa?”

“Quite.” She could have done without the crowds, but so far there have been no incidents. There has only been Elfnein and her eager appetite for knowledge; she, herself, is content.


	53. 1.52 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's more than one type of history.

### FIFTY-TWO

Although many would say that art museums are boring for children, she’s certain that Elfnein will enjoy the displays as much as any adult, if not more; after all, the first outlet for any child’s imagination is art, isn’t it?

Plus, it gives Tsubasa a chance to show off her inner art history nerd (don’t tell Tsubasa that she said that, heh).

“Well, Rococo differs from traditional Baroque in that it tends to use a pastel palette, has asymmetrical patterns and motifs, and is highly ornamental. It is also, however, classified as late Baroque, for it has its basis in the school of art of continental Europe from the 18th century.”

Tsubasa, for once, speaks freely, and Elfnein hangs on to her every word; both are much less self-conscious when they are thoroughly immersed in their interests. It makes her glad—every relationship should be a two-way street.

While they delve into the history and even a little of the symbolism of the Rococo paintings, Maria wanders a bit away from them.

Gazing upon the opulence of the Rococo and Baroque, she can’t help but be reminded of the destruction all throughout Poland and down through central Europe, from Austria and Bulgaria to the tip of Greece at the end of their bloody path. From churches to town houses to everything in between, they razed the extravagance of the old order to the ground (not that their grand total of 52 arsons changed anything, in the end).

But that’s in the past, she reaffirms as she takes a seat upon a nearby bench.

Elfnein and Tsubasa catch up with her, and they decide to join Maria on her break.

“My feet are unexpectedly tired,” Tsubasa says, jostling a foot.

In between them, Elfnein swings her legs back and forth, shoes just barely brushing the floor—Maria has to resist squealing aloud at the cuteness.

“You’ll have to get used to it, Tsubasa. Pretty soon we’ll be doing this more often.”

Quirking her brow, Tsubasa looks at Maria in askance: _Are we going to bring it up?_

Elfnein looks at her, too, with an expression that’s more curious than apprehensive.

There are lots of ways this conversation can go, but she takes the casual route; just a little something to ease them all into the idea that they’ll be… a unit.

“By Christmas, I’m certain that we’ll be settled in, so the upcoming year will begin with lots of outings like this one!” she says, nodding decisively.

Elfnein asks, “But when… when….” She can’t finish the question, but Maria understands.

“If all goes well, by the end of November, perhaps the first week of December.” And Tsubasa understands, too. “We have some paperwork that has to be approved, though the matron will probably send that out by the end of the week. Maria has started at her new employment, and I will in a few days, as well. The house renovation, which is the only other delay, is set for completion in a week’s time.”

Understandably, Elfnein looks overwhelmed by the information. Since she doesn’t have to make any such preparations, it must seem like everything that’s happening is abrupt.

Hopefully it’ll feel more real the closer they get to finalizing the adoption.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of Maria's backstory somehow made it in there... o_o. Plus, some book-keeping in regards to the timeline and technicalities of the plot; maybe I'll reach my goal of having Elfnein adopted by #60, though that'll have to employ some time-skips since they're at 11/16 ish right now. Would a time skip to 12/1 ish be too jarring? I plan on having more of those [time skips, I mean] in the second arc, so I might as well get into the practice now... Eh, we'll see.
> 
> Please review, and thank you for those who have reviewed so far! ^^


	54. 1.53 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She doesn't do too well with other people.

### FIFTY-THREE

“Hey, hey, is it true that you’re getting adopted?”

She flinches at the blunt question, but at least the person who’s asking doesn’t seem to be looking for trouble; he just looks curious.

“Um, well…,” she casts about for a way out, but now a few other students have gathered around her desk, also curious, “I-I s’pose….” Her face feels hot. She ducks her head, trying hard to keep her hands and legs from being jittery.

“It’s the stern lady with blue hair and the one with funny pink hair that came last week, right?”

“U-um—”

“No, it’s the man with the butler!”

The man with the butler? She hasn’t seen anyone like that….

“Or is it the woman in red? She wears a _lot_ of red, and she looks really stern, too!”

She hasn’t seen anyone like that, either. Actually, it looks like she’s been pretty out of it lately, because she doesn’t recognize any of the people being described.

“Well? Who is it? Tell us!” the first boy from earlier interrupts the babble of the others, thus refocusing their attention onto her.

“It’s… Mrs. Kazanari… a-and Mrs. Kazanari.” Just then, she realizes that she never did ask about their last names, and she realizes that her bare-bones answer definitely won’t satisfy the curiosity of those surrounding her. But she can’t. She can’t talk about Mrs. Tsubasa and Mrs. Maria, because—because they’re hers.

A few seconds pass without her elaborating, so the boy prods again, “And?”

She shrugs; her hands are sweaty now, and she thinks her blush has extended to her ears, too.

“Children, what are you still doing here? It’s such a nice day—go out and play!”

Thank goodness that the teacher came back; the students scatter, which lets her slip away. A few glance at her as she passes, still prying, but she makes it to her room without anyone else stopping her.

Dropping her books on her bed, she takes a deep breath to slow down her racing heart. She reaches for Mr. Penguin and Ms. Teeth, burying her face behind them. For the moment she has the room to herself, which doesn’t happen often—it’s a fortunate coincidence that gives her some space to breathe.

It’s not that she doesn’t get along with the others. It’s her anxiety that gets in the way, though the fact that most of the people she meets are extroverts doesn’t help, either.

Back home, she was never lonely… she had Carol and her father and even a few village children (but only when they stayed long enough to get to know the people). Here, she’s out of her comfort zone on a daily basis.

Honestly, it tires her out.

Keeping up the energy to deal with everything around her means that she doesn’t have the energy to go _deeper_ —it’s a stable equilibrium that’s skewed towards conserving energy, not making friends.

Still, she’s learned from this. She’s pretty sure she’ll be thankful for the practice at socializing once she starts going to her next school, which will probably be much, much bigger than the orphanage’s school.

And, that’s her cue to start doing homework. She doesn’t want to daydream about the future, because that’s just going to set her up for disappointment; it’s better to wait, to have patience.

Going to her desk, she pulls out her notebook to do today's homework. Maybe she'll have time for a few chapters if she finishes the _Parts of the Cell, p. 53_ assignment quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we're nearing the end of the first arc. Fingers crossed, maybe I'll finish it by Friday.


	55. 1.54 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I almost cannot believe that it is _mine_."

### FIFTY-FOUR

She stands in front of her—

 _Her flower shop_.

It is _hers_.

 _Hers_.

Bold and center, above the entrance, it reads, “ _Flowers of the Crying Wind_.”

She has her own business now.

The thought takes her breath away.

It is a quiet little endeavor in the village closest to her family’s estate—quiet, small, ordinary, safe; something _banal_ and quite removed from the dangers of the disaster response corps. The type of modest life she might have dreamed about as a child.

As she stands there, frozen in front of the doors, she thinks about what it took her to arrive at this point… this unexpected place of peace.

From that fateful discovery of her lineage, to her early work in the military, to Kanade, to her later work in the military, to Maria; all eras of her life that could not have possibly told her that she would find a slice of the halcyon all for herself.

“Well,” she chuckles, shaking her head, “I am certain that my castle in the sky has much more to offer me _inside_ than it does _outside_.”

Nonetheless, she pauses at the door, key partially inserted. Through the frosted glass there is not much she can see, but—

And then she is inside— _inside her_ own _flower shop_.

Light from the doors filters in, faintly illuminating the empty tables, displays, and refrigerated glass cases that await her. Since the setup is a gift from her father and every other part of the business was handled from her office at the Second Division headquarters, this is her first time setting foot on the premises.

She runs her hand along the wall until she finds the light switch behind the main counter. With the lights on, it surprises her that there is yet another level of _real_ that washes over her.

Deciding to keep the windows closed until she has everything prepared, she goes to the adjoining office that lies behind the main counter.

There, she finds it in herself to begin working.

Hours, in fact, pass before the ringing of her cell pulls her out of a stack of part-time employee applications.

“Maria?” she asks, glancing at the clock.

“Good afternoon, darling! I hope you didn’t forget to eat lunch, wherever it is that you are,” her wife’s not-quite-nonchalant voice tells her.

She did, in fact, forget about lunch, but she knows better than to say that. “I was just on my way out to do just that,” she says instead, hastily putting away her papers and then grabbing her jacket from where she had tossed it on the chair across her desk. “And _where_ I am is a surprise.”

“Humph, then will you at least tell me how your morning went?” From the annoyed tone, she knows that Maria is pouting.

“Not a chance; don’t think I do not know your little tricks, Maria.”

“Then you’ll have to listen about _my_ morning without complaint, alright?”

She locks up the main doors as she replies, “Of course, dear.” She heads down the street, retracing the path she had taken early this morning. She remembers seeing a diner on the main street.

Meanwhile, Maria goes on about how she’s settling in as an assistant teacher at Lydian, how much she loves being around the students and fellow teachers. It’s a nice change of pace, Maria says, and she thinks she’s really going to enjoy it—especially when she becomes a full-fledged teacher the next school year.

Giving appropriate responses when necessary, Tsubasa takes a leisurely stroll to the diner, taking in the sights and memorizing the layout of the village.

Finally, she arrives at “ _Granny’s Diner, Est. ’54_ ,” which strikes her as familiar.

“I will call you back after I order, yes?” she asks Maria, who replies in affirmation.

She takes a seat near the back, with a good view out the large windows, and a friendly waitress promptly takes her order.

“New ‘round here, are ya?” the waitress asks upon her return with Tsubasa’s soup. “Or jus’ visitin’?”

She resists the urge to duck her head, replying, “New, I suppose. I am opening a flower shop a few streets down in a couple of weeks.” She manages a smile in the waitress’s direction before her gaze darts back to her cell.

“Ah! Been a while since Bert’s closed, so I reckon you’ll have good business. Well, if ya need anythin’, just holler.” The waitress gives a friendly wave and leaves.

“That went well—I think,” she mumbles to herself.

Attracting and retaining customers will be, by far, her greatest obstacle. But this initial foray seems to be doing well, so she is… optimistic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsubasa's a florist now! And, for some reason the village/town she works in feels a lot like Storybrooke in my head, lol.
> 
> Please comment!


	56. 1.55 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving in can be just a bit boring.

### FIFTY-FIVE

“There’s _so_ much to do!” she groans, pushing aside yet another box.

“It won’t go away by itself, you know,” Tsubasa says without an ounce of sympathy. She’s down a couple of halls, putting away things in the kitchen, yet sound travels surprisingly well through the open doors.

Maria sighs. She’s thankful that at least the moving company arranged their furniture for them; it’s one less thing to worry about. Still, there are boxes scattered around the house that need unpacking, and she’s feeling pretty indolent about getting things done.

“ _Maria_.”

Of course, her wife won’t let her laze around for long.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’m working!” she calls back, rolling her eyes.

She moves onto the suitcases of clothes that she left for last. As she begins to put things away, a thought occurs to her: “Oh! You know, this is a great opportunity to get into new routines! Let’s see how long we can keep the sock drawer organized this time, hm?”

Tsubasa comes into the room then, pouting. “They are only _socks_ …,” she whines.

“I’m betting on a week,” Maria says, smirking. She tucks away the last of their undergarments and, pointing to them, continues, “So, what do you think?”

Crossing her arms and looking distinctly unamused, Tsubasa grumbles, “It’s not going to last that long.”

“Well, I guess wishful thinking won’t get me anywhere.”

“ _Anyway_ , I finished with the kitchen, and I put up a few of the decorations from the apartment,” Tsubasa says. “Do you need help here, or should I continue with the rest of the house?”

She doesn’t even have to consider it—“Go on with the rest of the house; if you’re here, you and I both know that nothing will be very organized since you’ll just stuff things in random drawers, which will mean _twice_ the work.”

Tsubasa looks sheepish, meaning that that was exactly what she had been thinking.

“Alright. Well, once we are finished, we can celebrate with the bottle of champagne that Father gave us. I believe he said it is from one of his brews of the year ’55,” Tsubasa tells her, nudging a box of their things toward her.

“I’ll try to be quick, then!”


	57. 1.56 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New house, new routines.

### FIFTY-SIX

Monday morning begins bright and early—a bit _too_ early for her taste, but it’s a sacrifice she has to make if she wants to get to the school on time.

She rolls over, dangling her arm over the edge of the bed, but immediately finds her arm in a squashed position. She groans; she keeps forgetting that this is a tatami bed, significantly lower than the bed they had back at the apartment.

At any rate, she’s fully awake now, so she gets up reluctantly.

On the other side of the sliding doors, Tsubasa asks, “Maria? Are you awake yet? Breakfast is ready.”

“Um. Give me a moment,” she says, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She can see the faint silhouette of her wife moving around the bedroom, and she hears drawers close.

Tsubasa pokes her head into their inner bedroom, asking, “Have you seen a manila folder marked ‘Business’ anywhere?”

“You mean the one you’ve been insisting that I don’t look at because you want your new job to be a surprise?” she clarifies, moving past Tsubasa to get herself ready for the day. “It’s in your pants drawer—didn’t you see it this morning?”

Tsubasa frowns, returns to the drawers, and, sure enough, there is her business folder. “Oh,” she shakes her head, “I must have overlooked it in the dark. Thank you, dear.” She kisses Maria’s cheek before exiting the bedroom once again.

Maria gets herself ready in less time than usual—it must be her giddy anticipation that has her moving quickly.

Eating together at the small kitchen table instead of in the adjoining dining room, they discuss their commute.

“Well, we do still have time if you want to make a brief stop at where I work, but I insist you wait until you return. I do not want you to feel rushed; with an unfamiliar commute, it is better to be safe than sorry, you know,” Tsubasa says, tracing the path Maria has drawn on a paper map.

“You have a point,” Maria sighs. “Okay, so you’ll drop me off at the village station, then I’ll take the train to the city; when I come back, I’ll meet you at your place and we’ll go home together?”

Tsubasa nods.

“Alrighty then! Now that you mention it, though, I really hope I don’t get lost.”

Getting up, patting Maria’s head as she passes, Tsubasa says, “Don’t fret.”

“Well _that_ makes me feel better, darling,” Maria grumbles, and Tsubasa smirks.

“I’ll be a few minutes, which should give you enough time to get your hair in control.”

Indignant, Maria splutters, “Hey!”

She can hear Tsubasa laughing down the hall.

When she joins Tsubasa in their bathroom, she makes it a point to mutter, “My hair’s not _that_ bad.”

“Perhaps it is because you tossed and turned so much last night—and every night since we arrived,” Tsubasa notes, beginning to sound concerned.

Flashing her a quick smile through the mirror, Maria reassures her, “Don’t worry; it’s just taking me a while to adjust to the tatami mats. Though, maybe we should add on the mattress? For the sake of my hair and my back.”

“Need some help?” There’s an undercurrent of laughter in Tsubasa’s voice, though she says next, “I will remember to do so when we get home tonight,” and picks up another brush to help Maria tame her mess of hair.

It’s actually a good thing that Tsubasa helps her, because they just barely make it to the station on time for Maria’s train.

“Where’s—” Maria wheezes—“train 56?” As soon as the attendant points her in the right direction, Maria is off.

She turns around just inside the train doors, and she manages to wave a last goodbye to Tsubasa, who waves back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the first arc will definitely end in the next four chapters. I want to finish and publish those last four before midnight, but I'm not quite sure if I'll make it. Nonetheless, I want to say a few things: 
> 
> 1\. I revamped the chapter names to include the pov, and I've added summary blurbs to all of them. As I went through I also fixed some typos I spotted, but if you see more, please do tell me.
> 
> 2\. The summary might change in the upcoming week. I haven't made up my mind on that -- do you guys think it's okay as it is or is there something I should change?
> 
> 3\. After I finish the last four chapters and thus conclude the first arc, I will be taking the rest of the year off. The second arc's updates will start on January 1st. This is because I want to devote the rest of my winter break to my other stories, one of which is nearing 50 kudos! So, the last update will be either later tonight or tomorrow afternoon, depending on how much I get done.
> 
> With that, I wish you all happy holidays and a merry Christmas for those who celebrate it!


	58. 1.57 | Tsubasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It is quite fitting, is it not, that I should return here for the next stage of my life._

### FIFTY-SEVEN

She is supposed to be inspecting the flower fields, yet she finds herself wandering the halls of her childhood instead.

“Is it odd,” she murmurs aloud, “that I keep thinking of this as a dream?”

Perhaps it is the house itself that is the dream: after all, the last time she stayed here was when that terrorist group had threatened her father—years upon years, when she and Maria had only recently met.

Yet Maria had stood up for her, had confronted her father.

Voice low, a heavy scowl on her face, and righteous indignation in every accusation thrown at Yatsuhiro Kazanari; Maria would have done the same with Fudou Kazanari if she had had the chance.

Outside of her old bedroom, she pauses.

It is empty now—has been empty since she and Maria moved into their apartment. When she slides open the door, however, she can recall quite clearly the mess she had left when she departed for the military. The mess that her father had kept meticulously clean no matter how long she had stayed away.

The mess that had persuaded Maria to approach her.

She thinks of it as she continues walking:

 _“I thought you were so aloof—but in a_ cool _way, you know? You couldn’t possibly have any interest in someone like_ me _, who was so_ ordinary _behind the terrorism. But I saw your room, and—and I realized that you were_ human _, too. You were a person, just like me; it was just that you hid it so well behind your walls. Ha,_ literally _in the case of your room!_ ”

And so, it is almost a dream to be here, eons later, with the intent of starting her own family.

The teenager inside her resurfaces, marveling at the nigh-impossible changes.

“Not impossible, however. Was it not the death of Kanade that rendered everything impossible? Was it not the depression— _my_ depression—that sought to condemn me to a half-life of bitter duty?”

Rounding a hall and arriving nearly at her starting point, she finds herself at an even older place.

It has housed no one since she changed her room to the one further out, by the courtyard.

Once upon a time it was a nursery; back when she believed the world was a simple place. But then she knew better, and she was angry, so she renounced the symbolism that had covered every inch of the nursery—which had been that of her father, and her grandfather, and all of the heads of the Kazanari before her.

Forlorn now, empty, abandoned.

It, too, feels like a dream. One of fairytales and nursery rhymes and the shackles of tradition.

This room will not be for Elfnein, or for any subsequent child that may grace the halls of the estate.

“I might not be a 57-year-old revolution, but I _am_ progress.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grasping at straws with that number -grimaces.-


	59. 1.58 | Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You were so stern with me... but I like to think that you'd be proud of me."

### FIFTY-EIGHT

“ _Hej, mamo_.”

Hi, mom.

“I wish you were here.” She laughs wryly, “Just as I wanted you here for my first real job, Kirika and Shirabe’s graduation, my last concert, moving in with Tsubasa, my wedding… and all the little moments in between.

“Then again, I could be fifty-eight years old and _still_ be missing you. That’s just how it is, isn’t it?”

Sighing, she traces the edge of the picture frame; her mother’s stern look seems to reprimand her for moping around.

“I’m not moping around.”

Younger Maria, posing next to her mother, smiles tentatively up at her.

Always second-guessing herself, yet she made it through, didn’t she? She’s here now. She has her quiet life, far, far away from the turmoil that has haunted her since she was a lost little girl.

“Of course, if I _weren’t_ independent by now, it’d be very worrisome.”

That doesn’t mean that she doesn’t _want_ her mother’s advice. Parenting is a challenge—on her shoulders rests the future of another human being, an entire life that will go on to impact other lives. She wants nothing more than to be a mother to Elfnein—but. But there are always doubts.

“Which is why I always come back to you, _mamo_. You don’t hesitate to set me straight.”

She smiles.

“I have to go now; get some sleep, hopefully, so that I can give my all tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took the Polish straight from google translate; I hope it's correct....


	60. 1.59 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief glimpse into Elfnein's anticipation.

### FIFTY-NINE

The fluorescence on the hands of Papa’s watch tell her that it is:

_11:59_

There’s just a minute left until midnight.

She shivers; it’s colder now than it was just last week, which makes sense, since autumn’s turning into winter, soon.

She can see her breath in the air.

Just a few hours from now….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on this note, I retire for the night.
> 
> The last chapter of Arc 1 will be tomorrow afternoon.
> 
> Please review!


	61. 1.60 | Elfnein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elfnein gets adopted. End of Arc I.

### SIXTY

It feels like a dream.

She pinches her arm.

It’s not a dream—probably.

She’s still dressed in the dress suit the matron got for her, and she’s still sitting between Mrs. Tsubasa and Mrs. Maria, and they’re all still waiting for the matron to finish explaining the contents of the documents they have to sign. She’s still waiting for the moment she gets adopted.

Even so, it still feels like a dream.

Maybe that’s just the cynicism in her; maybe it’s too good to be true.

But, she knows she’s a kid. It’s a kind of self-awareness that her father had marveled at—because Carol had been all about being an adult. That means it’s okay for her to hope, to believe in happy endings.

Or, at least, happy middles.

“Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to the good part,” the matron says, cutting into her thoughts.

Pointing to a column of signature lines, the matron adds, “This is the last part, actually. At this point in the process, all that’s left is your legally-binding signatures indicating that you agree to the terms outlined in the contract.”

She clears her throat, then reads from the contract in an official voice:

“Until the child, one Elfnein Malus Dienheim, turns eighteen and becomes a legal adult, do you, Tsubasa Kazanari and Maria Cadenzavna Eve-Kazanari, agree to be the child’s legal guardians and caretakers? If so, date and sign your legal name.”

Mrs. Tsubasa and Mrs. Maria sign, then they all turn to face her.

Mrs. Maria smiles reassuringly at her.

The matron continues, “Until you, Elfnein Malus Dienheim, turn eighteen and become a legal adult, do you accept Tsubasa Kazanari and Maria Cadenzavna Eve-Kazanari as your legal guardians and caretakers? If so, date and sign your legal name.”

She takes the pen offered to her by the matron and carefully, slowly signs her name in simple cursive along the signature line. She glances at the signatures above to double-check the date—and to see proof that she’s _theirs_ now.

She gives the pen back to the matron.

“As witness, I, Matron Yang Xiao Long, do here proclaim that the proceedings were carried out according to the law and date and sign my legal name to officially seal case number 060,” the matron declares, signing her name with a flourish.

Clapping her hands, the matron tells them, “That’s it! Of course, we’ll send a representative to check in on you for the first three months, but you’ve been licensed to adopt, so as long as you are good caretakers, there’s nothing for you to worry about.”

She stares at the matron, eyes wide, because she can’t believe that that’s it.

That’s it.

She has _parents_ now.

Mrs. Maria is the first to stand up—there are tears in her eyes, but she’s smiling so tenderly, and she asks, “Can I hug you, Elfnein?”

Her words seem to have taken a vacation, and she’s afraid that if she opens her mouth she’ll start crying, too, so instead she raises her arms in that universal supplication for a hug.

And then she feels so _tiny_ but so, _so safe_ in Mrs. Maria’s arms.

She can’t help it.

She starts crying.

It’s not Papa’s embrace, but it’s _hers_ nonetheless.

Then, Mrs. Tsubasa envelopes them both; also _hers_.

When they’re done crying, Mrs. Maria offers her a little blue handkerchief embroidered with her name, _Elfnein_ , in white script. She tears up again, just a little bit.

“Thank you, Matron Xiao Long,” she hears Mrs. Tsubasa murmur, her voice scratchy.

It reminds her to thank the matron, too. “Thank you,” she pipes up, speaking from Mrs. Maria’s shoulder.

“Yes,” Mrs. Maria says, “I can’t express how thankful to you we are.”

The matron waves her hand, “Aw, don’t worry about it. What’s important is that the kid’s got a home now. That’s all the thanks I need.” She smiles, adding, “I’ll miss you, Elfnein, but I’m sure you’ll be very happy with your family.”

With that, Mrs. Maria leads them out of the office, her hand clasping Elfnein’s firmly.

They give one last goodbye to the matron and then it’s just the three of them.

Elfnein gives a small wave to her favorite tree while Mrs. Tsubasa loads her suitcases in the car, and then—then:

“Ready?” Mrs. Maria asks her.

She takes a moment to look around the orphanage one last time; nodding as she turns away, she says, “I’m ready.”

“Welcome to the family, Elfnein,” Mrs. Tsubasa says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for Arc I. I really skewed adoption processes, just fyi.
> 
> Also, I changed my mind: Arc II will start on January 4th, because that's when my winter break is officially over. I look forward to seeing everyone then.
> 
> Please review! Even just a single line tells me that my work is appreciated, and if you've constructive criticism, all the better!
> 
> Feel free to drop me a line at teddy-tries-writing.tumblr.com at any time! Or, if you want to connect with me as a person as opposed to me as an writer, there's always my personal blog teddy-san.tumblr.com.


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